First Date is the new original musical that received its world premiere at Seattle’s ACT Theater (in a co-production with the 5th Avenue Theatre) early last year.

Last night, First Date opened on Broadway, in a production directed by 5th Ave producing director Bill Berry. According to online reports, lots of the audience had a great time. But according to the <a href="http://theater.nytimes.com/2013/08/09/theater/reviews/first-date-a-musical-opens-on-broadway.html?_r=0
“>New York Times
, it’s not long for this world. As a meaner-than-usual Charles Isherwood writes about his first date with First Date:

Didnโ€™t go so well.

Does any of the following sound familiar? An instant lack of rapport; a growing aversion as the minutes pass; a mysterious sense that time has suddenly stopped; a desperate hope that the apocalypse will arrive, preferably right this minute. Magnify those feelings, set them to bland pop-rock music, and youโ€™ll have some idea of the oodles of fun I didnโ€™t have during my evening at โ€œFirst Date,โ€ the singing sitcom that opened on Thursday night at the Longacre Theater.

If you appreciate a seriously bad reviewโ€”especially one that damns the show’s writers by liberally quoting the scriptโ€”it’s <a href="http://theater.nytimes.com/2013/08/09/theater/reviews/first-date-a-musical-opens-on-broadway.html?_r=0
“>worth a read. Condolences to all.

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...