DEFINITION

Hubristic, bombastic Midwestern MC

Meek, self-deprecating Midwestern MC

DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS

Smokes cigarettes, drinks whiskey, challenges the competition, fucks groupies

Sings about Santa Claus, warns girls of the perils of becoming a โ€œtour mark,โ€ teaches his son about women

ADDRESSES ROMANTIC CONFLICT THUSLY

โ€œGo to hell girl/you make me sick/I hope your new boyfriend gets cancer in his dickโ€

โ€œThose are your shoes/these are my shoes/weโ€™ve got issuesโ€

MORNING ROUTINE

โ€œSometimes I wake up like, โ€˜Fuck the world!โ€™/and after I fuck my girl/I wanna curl up in the corner of my basement/waiting for civilization to foldโ€

โ€œUp and out the door by 9 oโ€™clock/the sun is shining up and down the block/thereโ€™s children in the corner waiting for a busโ€

NOTABLE NAMEDROPS

Muddy Waters, Mobb Deep, Murs

Ann Landers, Ani DiFranco, Orphan Annie

RECURRENT THEME

Masturbation

Masturbation

WINNER

Badass. Duh.

Atmosphere play the Mainstage Mon 8โ€“9 pm.