Seattle Pacific University, the 120-year-old Free Methodist school at the northern base of Queen Anne Hill, officially bans “premarital, extramarital, or homosexual sexual activities.” Read the university’s 758-word “Statement on Human Sexuality,” and you’ll learn when heterosexuals at SPU are allowed to engage in heterosexual sex (“In the context of the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman”), why homosexual acts are prohibited on campus (“Sexual experience is intended between a man and a woman”), and why things must be this way (“God”).
Earlier this year, in an effort to further marginalize the school’s long-unrecognized LGBTQ student group, Haven, an SPU administrator decided to take away Haven’s right to reserve on-campus meeting rooms. The reaction: an outcry from students, faculty, and the community at large in the form of angry letters and published threats by SPU alumni to withhold donations. Two weeks later, SPU administrators suddenly restored Haven’s right to reserve meeting rooms and, for the first time, decided to officially recognize the group.
Was this “a new beginning,” as Haven’s faculty adviser, associate professor of sociology Kevin Neuhouser, told the school newspaper it might be? Not exactly. The school’s “Lifestyle Expectations” and “Statement on Human Sexuality” are still in force and unchanged. Which means that all across campus, straight and gay students remain committed to furtively breaking SPU’s sex laws. The Stranger reached out to a number of current and former students at the university for their stories of SPU sex—hot, conflicted, impious, complicated.
and the Graveyard Just
North of Campus
By a member of the class of 2007
Before any student moves into a dormitory on the Seattle Pacific University campus, they’re requested to sign a document outlining “community expectations.” Guidelines. Rules for living in the SPU bubble.
Don’t smoke cigarettes or pot. Don’t drink alcohol on campus. And most notably, don’t have sex with your fellow students. But every student—male or female, straight or gay or bi—is a horny human being, and the fact is that most SPU students love to hook up. In their dorm rooms, in the library study rooms, in the public lounges.
People try to keep their sex lives quiet and on the down low, because if you’re caught, it’s trouble. But to do this, they end up in some pretty weird and risky places. When I was at school, good friends of mine liked to fuck late at night in the graveyard just north of campus. The private music practice rooms in Crawford Music Hall and the art studios were popular, too. The common quality among all these places: secluded and almost always open.
My Dorm Room
By a member of the class of 2001
I had a friends-with-benefits thing with a female friend for several months. She’d come over to my place on campus when my roommate was gone and let me play with her boobs. We did some heavy petting in my bed, too.
Once, my roommate got back as we were in bed and I was pantsless. I jumped out of my bunk in my underwear just before he walked in, and I quickly explained that this female friend and I talked in my bed without pants sometimes (technically true). He shook his head and laughed as if telling me “You’re so lame.” Then he walked back out and never mentioned it again. I was relieved. You can get in trouble with your peer adviser (SPU’s version of an RA) if you get caught “talking” without your pants on.
By a member of the class of 2000
I‘m straight. I consider myself a fairly normal guy by SPU standards. And I did not masturbate once in my entire four years at the school.
When I was there, I prayed for God to take away my wet dreams and any fantasies of sex. It was done with the good intention to “not objectify women,” but it was pretty extreme. I even tried to counsel other guys out of masturbation. Once, when sex counselors on campus spoke at a midweek worship service on sex, they suggested guys could “take care of it” before a big date, so they’d be less likely to fall into doing something physical, which could be sinful. I was so offended that I walked out.
The suggestion that we masturbate to “take care of it” stood in contrast to what I’d learned at the chapel, where someone showed us images of all the STDs we were likely to get by touching fluids or body parts. I repeat, this was in CHAPEL. We learned the “danger zone” for ladies was “heavy petting.” For guys, it was “light petting.”
The summer after graduation, I went to a high-school friend’s wedding, where I splurged and drank three beers (three times the most alcohol I’d had in my life). Sure enough, I started feeling horny. I went home and stood in the bathtub, letting warm water from the showerhead run over me. The water alone was enough for me to come; I was so desperate for release. Yet I stood there crying in the bathtub, feeling like a failure to God and to myself.
This is why SPU needs to wake up and start talking realistically about sexuality. I look back now and see that the way I stifled my natural sexual desire looks more like an eating disorder than anything else, full of control, self-hatred, and self-punishment. We have to find a way to get in touch with and celebrate our sexual selves—especially as Christians who believe God designed us to feel good.
By a member of the class of 2010
Being in the dorms makes sex difficult, especially if you are gay. I didn’t start having sex until my sophomore year, but I did jerk off a lot my first year in college. What 18- or 19-year-old guy doesn’t jerk off a lot?
Most of the time, this would take place in my room when I knew my roommate would be in class, because I thought that would be safest. Maybe for most guys, having your roommate walk in on you isn’t so bad, but since the porn I was watching was gay, it came with bigger consequences than just some mild embarrassment. So I was careful, trying my best to whip it out only when I knew I wouldn’t be bothered.
I thought about doing it in the showers, but guys at SPU have a very homoerotic sense about them, and having a guy just get in the shower with you is not uncommon. So not a good place for me to jerk off. (Plus, the guys would have gotten really suspicious if they came in to shower and found me with my finger in my ass.)
Eventually, I found my favorite jerk-off spot: the prayer room. On each floor in my hall, there were small rooms with doors that were designed for prayer and reflection. Well, I used the prayer room often, but I wasn’t praying. (Kind of blasphemous, yeah. But to be honest, I’m sad I never actually got to have full-on sex in there.) Another benefit of the prayer room privacy: I could put in my headphones and watch porn without having to worry much. Oh, and speaking of porn: At SPU they have this awful thing called a content filter. It blocks all of the good sites from being accessed while you’re on SPU’s network. Fortunately, it didn’t take me long to discover how to circumvent the filter.
Then, during my sophomore year, I started having sex. At first, this functioned much like my masturbating life did, except with more precautions. I had to be damn sure that my roommate wouldn’t be coming back for this. A lot of times, if he was around, I’d just go have sex in my car, parked down the street from my hall. (Car seats are great for giving head.) Once I even met up with my boyfriend and sucked him off in a bathroom in Otto Miller Hall. That was fun! After I came out, I got more comfortable and started texting my roommate to make sure he wouldn’t be home. I think this made him really uncomfortable, but honestly I don’t care. A guy’s got to get some cock.
By a member of the class of 2010
I have a theory that gay men go to SPU in order to “cure” themselves of their “wicked ways,” but they just end up fucking each other—in so many senses of the word. I never told any of my friends at SPU that I was gay, even though it was probably apparent. (I carry a purse with me wherever I go, for Christ’s sake.) It’s not an environment where you can feel comfortable being in your own skin. Or at least it wasn’t then.
The fact that Haven has now been officially recognized as a legitimate club on campus says a lot, in that now people have a place to go when they feel alone, alienated, and the like. But for me, there was no such place.
I never really came to terms with my sexuality until I left the school, but one student helped to—for lack of a better term—throw me out of the closet. Let’s call him Matt. We ended up losing our virginities to each other.
Matt and I never had sex on campus. Not that it didn’t cross our minds. I loved the idea of having on-campus sex, just for the sake of “sticking it to the man.” (Wordplay!) But, realistically, the possibility of being caught was just too heavy on my mind. After all, in order for the administration to intervene, all they need is an accusation. They don’t actually need physical proof. So it would have been WAY too much of a risk. Punishment would probably include counseling, a fine (yes, a fine), and some sort of disciplinary probation.
So we lost our virginities on his living-room floor after we had both moved out of the dorms. We were still students, but being a couple blocks off campus in a rented apartment provided a greater sense of comfort with no chance of getting reprimanded. Now, looking back, I wish I had had sex on campus. Being as taboo as it is, it would probably have been pretty fucking hot.
Still, losing my virginity while I was a student at that school was liberating. Also frightening as fuck. I’d more or less set my status as a fag in stone, which meant I had to walk on eggshells for the rest of my college career, lest my newly established sex life backfire on me. I didn’t even walk during graduation. It’s impossible to feel comfortable as a gay man on a campus that is outwardly against you, and I couldn’t justify being proud of my education from a school that thought I was leading a disgusting life.
On the other hand, as much as I hate to say it, SPU showed me who I really was. All the negativity surrounding homosexuality helped me deal with my own negativity surrounding my own homosexuality—without them even realizing. Plus, Matt was the
hottest sex I’ve ever had in my life. So thanks for that, too, SPU.
By a member of the class of 2003
Whenever I tell someone in Seattle I graduated from SPU, I get the same reaction: a raised eyebrow and a “Really? I wouldn’t have expected that.”
It’s obnoxious.
I’m a straight woman. I don’t describe myself as a Christian, nor did I in college. I was looking for a school that offered a great education and a place where I could stay up late talking about religion—a subject of personal fascination. In hindsight, I might have made a great stoner.
On both of those goals, SPU delivered. My education there put me in a position to choose between high-caliber graduate programs. (I can’t lie, opening an acceptance letter from the Ivy League felt pretty damn good.) And the students and faculty I met were thrilled to talk about the nuances of things like how to best respond to urban poverty or gender identity.
And, yes, once in a while, despite being at a Christian university and a complete nerd, I even managed to have sex. For part of my time at SPU, I dated a guy who went to the University of Washington. We probably had as healthy a sexual relationship as any two 19-year-olds can. Sex was thrilling and exciting because it was finally available. The biggest obstacle for us, regardless of location, was trying to find some non-roommate time—on either campus—during which to get nekkid.
Some people at SPU felt tortured and unsupported with respect to sex because school rules or their faith banned bumping uglies. But others were despondent because they’d doinked someone who turned out to just be a bad idea. There were also the pregnancy scares and occasional required rounds of antibiotics for rogue STDs, which always shakes your nerve. On that note, the SPU health-center staff was famously discreet and supportive.
By a member of the class of 2013
Perhaps the local gas station’s rumored record number of stolen condoms can speak for the oppression and guilt we SPU students all live under.
By a member of the class of 2007
Here’s a fun fact for you: The gender makeup at SPU is approximately three to one, women to men. As a heterosexual freshman boy of 18, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
My first class at SPU was a sort of introduction to philosophy. I remember looking around the room and being shocked at how many beautiful women there were. I’d entered SPU as a virgin. Before I knew what happened, this feisty redhead had invited herself up to my dorm room for a “study session.” She taught me how to actually please a lady.
I can picture her pale skin, her wonderful tits with pink nipples. Not to mention the taste of her spicy pussy! We were fuck buddies until she left the school a few months later. By the way, young Christian women having anal sex to preserve their “virginity”—i.e., saddlebacking—is not a myth or exaggerated. It is much more widespread than you’d believe.
By a member of the class of 2000
Before I came to SPU, I had been discouraged from dating. So the numerous officially sanctioned campus activities that encouraged dating gave me a sort of cultural whiplash. There were late-night raids involving students from opposite-sex dormitory floors. There were group date nights where roommates were responsible for arranging each other’s companions. I didn’t know where the career center was until my junior year, but I can’t remember when I didn’t know who Doctors Les and Leslie Parrott were. They founded SPU’s Center for Relationship Development.
I was curious about sex and critical of the university’s need to regulate it via the “Lifestyle Expectations.” But I also knew that there was a lot that I didn’t know about sex, and as a woman, I was aware that there were particular risks (rape, pregnancy). The sexual and religious tensions that permeated SPU only amplified those risks. It was common in the spring for at least one male student to write in to the school newspaper complaining that women wearing tank tops and shorts were inciting him to commit unspecified sexual impurities. For many male SPU students, I would have been not a sexual partner but the root cause of a sexual problem, and the chances of being blamed seemed high. Besides, I was neither enthusiastic about breaking the code I’d signed nor especially interested in sex, compared to my studies.
At one point, I developed a crush on a girl, but I had no idea how to articulate my feelings to myself, let alone to her. I was often lonely, but sometimes tremendously entertained. One summer, my roommates and I invited the guys who lived in the apartment across the hall to come over and watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We were thinking of a casual movie night, though I had a mild crush on one of the guys. After 30 minutes, they walked out in disgust over what they saw as inappropriate content, and, well, that was the end of that crush.
By a member of the class of 2006
It all started with men’s intramural football. During our first weekend of games, I met a super-hot guy from the opposing team. I swore he was making eyes at me the entire game, but I thought to myself, “We’re at SP fucking U.”
Later that week, I came to find out that he was also in my anatomy and physiology class—when he sat down right next to me. After a few conversations, it became clear we had a lot of similar interests. We ended up studying several times a week. We hung out between study sessions, as well. A hike here, a jog there, went to a show. Toward the end of the quarter, we started studying for our big final, which was a week away.
One particular evening, we brought rye whiskey (also prohibited by SPU) into the studying equation. We got pretty tipsy, and before you knew it, we threw studying out the window and just had a grand ol’ time laughing and talking. It was sweet. We were sitting on my old blue couch when he spilled his drink. We both shot up to start cleaning it up, and then, as we were there on our hands and knees dabbing at the spill, we looked up at each other and seriously locked eyes. He leaned forward, and slowly and cautiously moved in closer. We kissed.
We kept kissing until we had been making out for 15 minutes or so. Then, suddenly, we heard my roommate get home. That really crashed the party. I knew we would have gone further if my roommate hadn’t come home, so the next day I preemptively made my way to the store for condoms and lube. I was closeted, yes, but I’d fooled around with some guys in high school and watched plenty of gay porn, so I knew what I needed, and wanted.
He couldn’t wait to call me the next day to meet up to “study.” He arrived at my place and we didn’t say a word—just instantly started making out. I locked my door, the clothes started coming off, we gave each other head, and then he asked me to fuck him. So we fucked. For a long time. It was incredible. Not gross or shameful, like the church taught me it would be. Natural. Real. Human.
I got an A on my exam the next day, too. 
Do you have your own story of rule-breaking
sex at SPU to share? Send it to eli@thestranger.com or, to send it anonymously, go to thestranger.com/spustories and put it in the drop box. We’ll publish the best of your submissions on Slog, The Stranger‘s blog.
That last one sounds fake.
@2: It’s not.
Ah suppressed sex…is there anything hotter? Well, suppressed gay sex, I guess!
At least the title lets you know exactly how boring the article is going to be.
My last Seattle home was just a couple of blocks from SPU. I believe they also ban alcohol consumption, even if the students are not only legal but off campus, but I saw plenty of SPU kids breaking that rule, too.
I didn’t even go to SPU and I had sex on that campus.
I believe the phrase is “let he who is without sin raise his right hand”.
(or at least, that was Bill Maher’s version of it, IIRC.)
masturbation in the prayer room? prolly left lots of SPU-j.
You forgot to mention all of the methodist ministers buggering each other and any child they can get their hands on.
College students have sex? No wai!
Well I for one do a considerable amount of talking to myself with my pants off.
Forcing its students to agree to no sex?
What a bizarre university.
@6 me too! and neither did my partner
@4 – agreed.
SPU may have a lot of issues with openness and discussion as a University but as a student body the conversations do happen. The floor I was on had an open group that talked all about masterbation and sex. I think you can think the rules are dumb and not fair but I respect the university for having them and for caring about them.
I’m very sorry for you #15 and sorry for anyone experiencing idiocy in your presence as I know I can’t count on you to speak out on injustice in the world. Respect for dumbness and unfairness?… sad state of affairs indeed.
wow a new career low for you Eli
As someone who graduated from SPU in 2008 I can verify all of the behaviors above. SPU is a campus full of liars, but it is not lying out of malice. It is lying out of fear. Over my 4 years there I saw multiple students excluded, removed from their majors and even asked to leave the school simply for sexual behavior. Everyone lies every day simply to make themselves fit inside of the SPU “bubble.”
I wish they had these kind of stories from Northwest University across the lake…
If you reeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to have sex that bad, research the school you’re going to. SPU has always had these lifestyle expectations. If you want to have sex, don’t choose to attend a university that maintains Christian values. 🙂
This is coming fucking gold. First you can’t admit the earth is round, and now you have to abstain from sex in college? I must say, its a rough story to back up with a straight face.
“Not to mention the taste of her spicy”
WHO TALKS LIKE THIS?
Really?
@9: “You forgot to mention all of the methodist ministers buggering each other and any child they can get their hands on. “
Sorry duder, Methodists (at least the southern variety, which I have more experience with…) are much more well-balanced and usually have families. AFAIK, there’s not a ton more buggery there than the places where the leaders are supposed to be chaste, or “confirmed bachelors”.
class of 2007. Great profs, crazy sex deprived students. Thanks for inspiring me to rebel with lots of drugs and foursomes. Big thanks to Dan Savage for getting all of Third West Ashton hall using vibrators while the poor boys cried and jerk it into their monogrammed bibles.
“Methodists (at least the southern variety, which I have more experience with…) are much more well-balanced and usually have families.”
A lot of sex offenders have families. The families are usually their first victims.
Nice try, though.
Kudos to the dude that got it on in Otto Miller. There’s nothing sexy about that building.
Spicy pussy?
I really don’t understand how the fuck that happened. Can someone produce a chart? Of the spiciness of pussy please.
SPU class of 2007, great education, great profs, really sexually repressed mindfucked students. Thanks spu for letting me rebel by drinking, smoking and fucking (including in the catwalks of the Chapman Theatre) into a degree. And special kudos to Dan Savage for getting all of Third West Ashton using vibrators!
I demand to know how the Stranger “reached out” to collect these stories. The last one especially reads like erotica. I hate religion as much as the next decent human being, but this is a goddam slow news week for the stranger
Class of 2008. Loved it, great education, great profs, great students. Was anti christian when I entered but started following Jesus halfway through. I drank, smoked, and slept around a bit before I started living how I felt Jesus wanted me to (abstinence) but even before that I thought it was ridiculous how everyone complained about the “oppression” and blah blah blah. I mean, you signed on the dotted line now deal with it. If you don’t like it, leave. It’s a private school, they can set their own rules and agenda and you don’t have to go there.
Also, I never felt like I had to keep anything secret. I got busted for drinking several times and caught with girls in my room a few times, but it’s definitely not like hiding from the nazis as this article would lead people to believe. typical Stranger slant on something religious I suppose.
I remember during my Sophomore year my roommate was pretty adamant about not masturbating. One day I come home from class and our room in Hill Hall just reeked like cum (I’d know that smell anywhere). He could have had the decency to throw it down the garbage chute instead of just leaving the cum-soaked tissue on top of the already full trash can.
“STDs in the Chapel” guy, that was heartbreaking. The eating disorder comparison sounds about right. I hope things got better. Sounds like maybe they did?
Don’t attend the university if you don’t agree with/are going to be upset about being expected to follow its policies.
Is this the riveting journalism that Eli Sanders went to school to learn: finding 10 disgruntled alumni who had sex while getting their education at one of the most presitgious schools in the Northwest? Slapping the SPU story on the front cover of your weekly is an example of why I believe The Stranger has become so irrelevent. No statistics, no interviews with administration, no counterpoint, no names for God sake (pardon the pun), and worste of all, no story! SPU graduates hundreds of students a year, sends people around the globe in the name of humanity and social justice, and you had to go back as far as a decade to find a few stories of repression that people weren’t even willing to sign their name to. That doesn’t seem like a scandle to me.
I rarely pick up this rag anymore and cover stories like this are the reason why your vulgarity can’t mask the irrelevence of your subject matter.
ron van der veen
Is this the riveting journalism that Eli Sanders went to school to learn: finding 10 disgruntled alumni who had sex while getting their education at one of the most presitgious schools in the Northwest? Slapping the SPU story on the front cover of your weekly is an example of why I believe The Stranger has become so irrelevent. No statistics, no interviews with administration, no counterpoint, no names for God sake (pardon the pun), and worste of all, no story! SPU graduates hundreds of students a year, sends people around the globe in the name of humanity and social justice, and you had to go back as far as a decade to find a few stories of repression that people weren’t even willing to sign their name to. That doesn’t seem like a scandle to me.
I rarely pick up this rag anymore and cover stories like this are the reason why your vulgarity can’t mask the irrelevence of your subject matter.
Thank you ron vdv! I agree 100%. I am an SPU alum and loved my time there and am so thankful for the experience I had. When you apply to SPU you are very aware of what is expected of students who attend. Don’t like it??? GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!! Why spend all that money on an education and experience you are just going to complain about for years to come??? I hear UW is a lot cheaper and you can have all the sex you want, drink all the beer you want, whenever and wherever you want.
Wow, I’m surprised at the number of offended people posting comments on this article.
You say, “SPU is a good school, I’m fine, what’s the big deal, if you don’t like the rules, don’t attend.”
I say, the title of this article is “Secret Sex Lives of SPU Students”. Well, if you don’t care about the secret sex lives of SPU students, if you’re best buds with Jesus, if you’re sitting on a holy, white, fluffy cloud far above all this vulgarity……………………why did you read this article?
If you don’t like sex, If you don’t like The Stranger, if you don’t like to hear about conflicted Christian kids breaking rules, don’t read about it!
The purpose of Eli’s article is obvious, and it’s not (primarily) erotic. It’s to press the case against certain religious doctrines about sexual self-repression. This is not all christians, or only christians, God knows (lol, right) that many muslims, jews and even hindus have great repressive beliefs about sexuality. But Eli’s just poking at these doctrines with a stick. If you don’t like it, don’t read about it.
Thanks for your comments, Ron. This article made me want to cry. SPU might not be perfect, but I’m a student here and I absolutely love it. I couldn’t imagine being at another school. This institution really is at the cutting edge of education and world change, hiring some of the top professors in the country (many of whom will gladly admit they could work elsewhere for higher pay, but choose to stay here because of the good work that SPU is doing). As for their faith, I doubt that a single person at SPU will tell you that they are “pure and sinless.” Sexuality IS perfectly normal and human, but the things described above are a far cry from the SPU that I know today. This school is not full of hypocrites, sex-addicts, and orgies; it’s just a family of sinners that wishes they could think, act, and engage others like Christ. What have I, as a student of SPU, ever done to the Stranger or any commenter on this thread to deserve this malice? I will be proud on the day that my degree says “Seattle Pacific University” across the top. These “sources” do not and should not represent this school.
Eli Sanders, I pray that you find something worthwhile to report other than this poorly written, defamatory pile of garbage. You know nothing about my school.
Since when did SPU become a world class university? Give us a break. I’m sure there are dedicated and highly qualified professors who work there, just as there are dedicated and highly qualified professors who work at liberal arts colleges throughout the Northwest. But the difference is that SPU is not a liberal arts college — it does not offer up to young people a world of knowledge and experience that challenges their beliefs and with which they are not already blissfully familiar. For God’s sake, SPU is still unwilling and/or incapable of dealing with the concept and day-to-day realities of “sexual orientation.” WWU did that in 1975.
What comes to mind when I think of SPU is seclusion and exclusion and compromised integrity.
Way to show only one side of the story there Eli Sanders, thats called propaganda and misrepresentation. There are more students than the 10 you put in here.
This is a typical case of someone trying to tear down something that is trying to be good for it’s students and give them the best start that they can.
Students breaking the rules doesn’t make SPU full of liars. Why don’t you look at UW or Western, this wouldn’t be a front page story because everyone knows it happens there. Way to make a splash Eli.
The BayGuardian did article in the 80’s on USF, a catholic university run by Jesuits. It accused USF of turning back the clock to the 1550’s, sexual repression and exclusivity. As an alumni, yes, it’s all still there. Good to see SPU students are normal.
As an ex-SPU student I don’t think any of us are surprised this stuff is going on. Worthy of a headlining article on the Stramger? Come on. Just search any craigslist personal ad for SPU and you’ve got the same stories.
Kinda expect a little more quality journalism out of the Stranger taking on a Christian University
To a student nonr of this is surprising,
Always admired your journalistic skills, Eli, but this time I’m left scratching my head. Why? Why is this a cover article, and why was it written at all? The Stranger seems to be much more obsessed with SPU’s policies than the average 19-yr-old at SPU… This I can say with a certain amount of knowledge on the subject, as I spent 5 years at that institution and have been reading this rag since its inception. Yes, I found the “Lifestyle Expectations” form an insult, even when I was extremely conservative, and believe it should be tossed out of the student contract. But rather than explore the reasoning behind the thing, including interviews with faculty and students, psychologists, etc, you chose to put together a piece of fluff that mostly reads like some really bad erotica. I’m pissed at you, Eli… you dropped the ball on a great opportunity to explore a legitimate issue, one that might actually have some RELEVANCE to readers instead of the cheesy, half-assed wank-bank deposit that it ended up being.
Eh, for those above assuming that all the anecdotes are from people who hated SPU, they’re not. Maybe some are, but I wrote one, and a friend wrote another. We both originally wrote that the regulations prompted intense discussions that helped students actually think about sex/gender politics, rather than just seeing them in some sort of black & white binary sense of sin and purity. We were actually hoping that it *would* be a thoughtful piece, including interviews, research, and commentary, that, as kazos says, might have actually been relevant, instead of just cheesy.
Those parts of our narratives? Are what the Stranger cut out. I suppose it was silly of us to have thought they were looking for anything other than erotica linked with Christianity in some way.
I have a friend who recently came out about his homosexuality, and he said he felt great to have done so at SPU — where he found a supportive community willing to dialogue about sexuality and matters related to faith.
What is often missed here is the immense pressure the administration has to balance in adjusting to changing social norms (on the one hand) and in keeping traditions/virtues rooted in its founding as a Christian institution (on the other). This is a fine balance — and one that requires intentionality and careful planning. Students at UW would expect the same…they sure would protest against their leadership if values were changing so rapidly that it ruins the integrity or authenticity of their school.
This is no easy topic. But there’s certainly a lot of gray area that is not discussed here in this article. To that end, this newspaper is no better than Fox News (on the right) or MSNBC (on the left) — it’s not news, it’s just entertainment. But does this at all contribute positively to public discourse? I think not.
I actually love this newspaper — and its leadership, like Dan Savage — but I’m just not sure what to make of this. I guess I don’t understand.
As an alum of a very similar university, perhaps even more conservative christian than SPU, the stories are not fabrications. The prayer chapel in my dorm was nicknamed the “Conception” Chapel.” The praise and worship leaders were known to their peers as the sluts. Now, a slut is a good thing to me. As long as no vaginal penetration happened with a penis (other objects and body parts were ok), everybody was still a virgin, but clearly in deep rationalization. Not being all that sexually active while in college was both a blessing and a curse. Evangelical Christianity needs to wake up and realize that the prohibitions on sex acts and gender identity are out-dated and culturally irrelevant now since they were based on traditions over thousands of years old. Heck, gender role expectations in the Evangelical community are no longer relevant as well. I have no regrets and pushed myself to gain an amazing education at my alma mater, member of the Coalition of Christian Colleges and Universities. And, my academic history paired with excellent recommendations from my professors granted me acceptance, without even going through the mostly required admissions interview, to one of the most selective teacher training grad programs in the nation. I guess I had to channel all my pent up sexual energy somewhere: studying.
A fun drunken libinious night was had by me with an SPU basketball player after meeting at the Red Door in Fremont. At least I wasn’t having to deal with any sort of issues related to a behavior code as a non-SPU student. About ten years before that fun romp, I did go to a college like SPU. The guilt, shame and secrecy which caused rampant hypocrisy and outward expressions of self-righteousness were very real. Evangelical educational institutions are simply reflective of Evangelical Christian churches. Their leaders fuck around and then cry on national tv when they get caught. I think god really is more interested in whether or not his followers are kind, gracious, generous and patient than she/he is with the whole sex and gender identification thing. But, it seems someone in our society has to ride the moral high horse. Too bad for the saddle sores. Relax. It’s sex, not aggravated assault or bank robbery. SPU and Christians need to learn to pick their battles.
The Seattle Stranger’s recent expose on Seattle Pacific University student sex life (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-s… ) is yet another pathetic Stranger hatchet job, a typical example of his rag’s journalistic blindsiding.
I graduated from the SPU, and I’ve attended there off and on since 1985. I’ve also penned articles in Seattle and Spokane’s gay community rags for over two decades. Regardless of the Stranger’s perspective, SPU as a school is a warm and welcoming place and like the rest of society, it continues to evolve. Not because of crap exposes like this but because of the committed gay Christians who attend there and confront dying prejudice.
I graduated from SPU with an under grad degree and now in July, will graduate with a Masters. I am out in my current program and was also in my undergrad degree. Not a student among my program is/was unaware of my sexual orientation. But for many of them, I am the only openly gay person they’ve met. People change perspectives when they actually met someone who contradicts all that their pastors, congregations, and familys have taught them.
As for all the closeted types who participated in interviewing for the story, regardless of sexual orientation you truly suck—You lack balls. How brave of you to mock a place you cowered in and never risked anything to change.
The Stranger is great at unveiling hypocrisy—and mocking earnest people—using the very same bullying tactics the Stanger condemns.
This vitriol is no better than that of God Hate’s Fags, Reverend Fred Phelps. Too bad you didn’t seek out another view—that of students who are ok with their sexuality—in all its beauty, and who remain committed to attending a school that acknowledges their faith. Sure it is far more difficult to reside in doctrinal crossfire, and try to bridge two continents— that thanks to The Stranger and Phelps always seem to be moving apart.
Indeed, with this kind of article, “It’s not getting better”, at least when The Stranger comes to town—as this only polarizes each camp, mocks people’s belief systems—which last time I checked, was still a constitutional right—and makes those of us working toward change that much more alienated from both.
Ironic that the stranger and its managing editor Dan Savage, each deomonstrate rich traditions of intolerance and bullying in their backgrounds and are no “stranger” to acidic hypocrisy.
As far as which is “better”, I’ve voted, and SPU wins. Regardless of whom you love.
As a current student in the School of Theology at SPU, preparing to go in to ministry, I am thankful for this article, but especially comment 47. This visceral exchange helps prepare church leaders to honestly handle teaching and talking openly about sex in a way that doesn’t create repression and anger and fear and STD mongering, but intimate and healthy sexuality that all human beings yearn for. The leaders of tomorrow will hopefully do you all better (no pun intended).
Ahh, I love the contradiction of terms going on here… although I think I’m more entertained by the rage that some of these folks commenting on the article are displaying.
Truth be told, I’m a neighbor (non-student) to the University, living only a couple of blocks away. As the University knows, I have on two occasions spoken with their Security Office about issues arrising from their student body. Without going into actual details of the complaints, I’m willing to divulge that I’ve found a students backpack located in front of my house with a bag of marijuana in it, innumerable SPU employee cigarette butts litterred about, and of all things – used condoms! Yep, “used” condoms.
For me I’ve always found it interesting that SPU is a University that does not allow smoking on its campus but, admittedly asks their own employees to walk a couple of blocks away (into the ‘residential neighborhood’) to get their fix – hence my complaint about the cigarette butts. I guess my point here is that as a religious university, it doesn’t seem to matter if it’s gay sex, straight sex, or on campus smoking… there are certain truths in this world they would rather ignore. Unfortunately, to me I find the Adminstrations own apathy that which is most morally and ethically dangerous.
…Speaking of morals… OK, I suppose I’m not the most honorable person but, when the problem with the ‘butts’ did not subside I figured the least I could do was let my dog shit on the President of the Universities lawn and not pick it up. I mean it’s not like I left it on his front porch or anything, I just figured if they aren’t going to care, well then I’m not going to bother caring either.
In 1996 I went to SPU for a couple of quarters. I did not go to a church that was common to my floor mate’s and was chastised and gossiped about when trying to talk too much about the bible….so the church I went to was widely considered a cult…just never mind that right now heh. Anyways, when I went to SPU and lived on 6th Ashton in 1996/1997 the kids on the 5th floor used to have “naked hours” after blocking off the exits (I witnessed it once and had previously thought it was a rumor). We didn’t have that on the 6th floor, but our…er…I forget what it’s called….like the RA but the floor minister….anyways, this dude used to put on a Spider-Man mask and run around the floor naked a couple times a week. Sometimes I would just be trying to unlock the door then notice something moving to the left of me and he would be jogging in place right next to me. We lived next to the lounge where one of our floor mates would be jamming his girlfriend with the door locked. On the other side of our room another floor mate, daily would be heavy petting his now wife with the door open for accountability reasons. When I saw article this morning, my face hurt from smiling on the way to work. Oh, and the previous year someone pooped in my roomate’s chocolate milk.
Honestly, none of what The Stranger has posted is wrong. Ernest or not, the fact of the matter is that a) Other Christians consider that kind of behavior weird and b) clinically it is unhealthy to limit your communication in such a way that it will eventually cause roadblocks in your marriages or dating relationships (i.e. if you don’t talk about sex your shit will be fucked up). SPU is a great school with many excellent programs, but if you are looking to further your relationship with God…the tuition is overpriced.
This article pissed me off, possibly more than any other single article I’ve read in The Stranger.
Much is made of us having sexual freedom- freedom to do what we please. But Dan’s also made it clear in his columns that we shouldn’t be dragging other people UNWILLINGLY into our sex lives. So here you have a bunch of college-age students who, for whatever personal reasons, have determined that they want to focus on something BESIDES sex during their college years. Maybe they think God wants them to wait, maybe they just want to focus on their education. Maybe they’ve seen the drama and issues sex can cause for young idiots, and want to wait until they’re more mature themselves. But they make their choice, and to that end, choose a college where all of the students agree, IN ADVANCE, to forego sex (unless they’re married). And when other students disrespect the agreement they made, you support that? WTF?!
Why is there something wrong with a group wanting to create a college atmosphere devoted to learning, and not sex? What about the students who truly don’t want that distraction at this point in their lives- there is no place for them? Should we really be telling young adults that they don’t need to honor the agreements they make, if that means forgoing physical pleasure?! What about honor, and integrity?
If you aren’t willing to give up sex during college, PICK ANOTHER DAMN SCHOOL! Leave this one for those who BELIEVE in what it is teaching.
For the record, I am not religious, and I’m not saying ALL college students should abstain 100%. But those who choose to and seek out a school where they can do so and feel ‘normal’ about it should be allowed to do that. Their (from what I can tell) mild homophobia is douchy, for sure. But not half as douchy as signing and agreement with your fellow students to hold yourself to a certain standard, and then whining about it.
Goddamn, Eli, is that really how you feel about commitments? That you can just forget about them as soon as they’re inconvenient? What the fuck is wrong with people?!?
I’m not sure why anyone would have such high expectations for this article. It’s supposed to be fun, sometimes poignant, press a point about SPU’s culture from a publication that is hardly secret in its distaste for that culture – not some major award-worthy piece of reporting. The Stranger isn’t known for big investigations other than the occasional sting like the pregnancy center article, something that a couple people can do without shuffling through dusty old archives for months.
funny, well-written article about hypocrisy at SPU. Enough with the gripes, people. You don’t like it? Don’t read it! I say well done, Eli.
I’m with gregp. Nice article Eli. Always fun to see how the students are way ahead of the curve. Good writing! Well done.
@36- I love the hypocrisy in your comment. You dismiss the “if you can’t live by these rules don’t go” argument with a “if you don’t like it don’t read it.” Priceless!
To the guy who was there in the mid-90’s the guys called them “Naked Floor Hours.” As woman who lived in Ashton during the same time, I always thought it was weird too and very homoerotic.
When I was there the big thing was abortion- (which of course follows the unprotected, premartial sex.) Thte PA’s, SMC’s and ASB board seemed to have one a month, or at least their girlfriends all in rotation.
Because SPU shames students for having sex, they are either forced to have abortions, leave the school or lose their leadership positions.
It’s a damn shame.
God, I wish my tenure at secular university had been this intensely passionate! :0
Given the incidents in the article, sounds like a high percentage of students @ SPU are gay. Interesting.
I’m a former SPU student and I have a few fun stories to add. My friends and I did a lot of debaucherous things some highlights include:
– Repeated sex in the Crawford Practice rooms.
– Sex in multiple dorms and on campus apartments.
– Breaking school on campus drinking codes on a daily basis.
– Getting blown while driving through campus (right in front of Safety and Security)
– I even know one couple that snuck into the music library for a blowjob.
But the best one of all was me and a buddy of mine started a contest to see who could jerk off in the most buildings on campus. By the end of the year I had done it done it in 12 buildings. My favorite times were when I did it immediately after leaving midterms (biology and theology) and one time I stepped out of a bible class, jerked off in the bathroom and immediately when i sat back down was asked to read a portion of scripture.
THIS MAKES FEEL LIKE I GO TO A NORMAL SCHOOL. THANK YOU ELI!
A friend of mine was thorn out of he school apt for having condoms stolen and turned into the school by her jealous roommates – that’s how the repressed react to sex. Ruin it for everybody rather than just jump in the evolutionary process.
Another great thing I did was discover that I could have free samples of Trojan condoms delivered to friends that lived in the dorms. Best part, they came in big envelopes that they had to go down to the mailroom and sign for.
Check out first emerson if you want a good story.
As a recovering SPU ’07 alum, I laughed out loud when I saw this Stranger’s cover. I’m still working through anger from years of Christian sexual repression. SPU/s sex policies rooted in fear and attempts to control only harm itself. Yet this is coming from an institution where its President [Eaton] sent an email to the entire community in Spring ’06 calling females the “weaker” sex. I was outraged! And when I voiced my concerns to those around me–I encountered indifference. SPU as a community is incapable of respecting diversity [be it sexual, gender, ethnic, political, religious, etc.] while those in power continue to degrade/disrespect entire groups of human beings.
It sure wasn’t safe for me to come out at SPU. Instead, I got a “ring by Spring” & married a male–going through the whole traditional Christian ceremony a few months after graduation. It was a short marriage–something didn’t feel right. It wasn’t until after the divorce that… wham! The realization finally rose to my consciousness like a breath of fresh air: I’m attracted to women, I’m queer. Coming out was freeing and joyful. I love being connected to more of my authentic self.
It saddens me to think that the “SPU community” [via it’s policies] looks at who I am, and all others who don’t fit into a heterosexual box, as sinners. I can only wonder how these judgements affected other students and faculty, past & present. To all those with a relation to SPU who don’t fit into a monogamous heterosexual box, let’s get together sometime to congratulate one another on our courage & strength! 😉
A sophomore studying journalism could have written this better. Where’s the unlike button?
Extremely disappointing. Guess my standards are too high when it comes to journalism, but I actually expected a piece of investigative journalism and for both sides to be represented, not some 19 year-old’s diary. I hope The Stranger rectifies this problem and comes up with a follow-up piece that actually represents the medium it claims to belong to: Journalism.
A lot of these stores don’t surprise me, mostly because I have one of my own. I was not an spu student but Thad, my boyfriend, was. We stared dating when he lived in the dorms and at the time we were both not fully out. For each of us only a select few friends and family knew, and at the time I think it was the best for us as were were still coming to terms of just who we were. Being on campus with him was a little scary at times, I felt like I was a spy behind enemy lines just trying to play it cool. He was pretty clear that he did not want people to know he was gay and that I was his boyfriend. It always made me a little awkward/mad when he would introduce me as his friend. A few times I even hung out with the guys on his floor but it took too much energy to switch off being a boyfriend and try and control my touching/looking and comments. When we were alone, all of this was actually a big turn on to me especially when we would fool around in his dorm room. We never had sex in his dorm room, nothing beyond “heavy petting” and oral. The dorm room was always a risk which added to my excitement but also his paranoia. So we had a favorite spot, well actually a few favorite spots we would go and make out or suck each other off. All of these spots were down along the canal. At night the benches down there are pitch black which provides great cover for a hand job or for one of us to go down on the other. There are also some great big bushes/trees behind the gym we would frequent and you could sometimes sneak behind a stack of wood at the lumber place down there too. It was close enough and private enough that were pretty sure no one caught on. So I guess that is my little bit of advice to all you current spu students who don’t want to sneak up to the cemetery for a romp.
THe tone of this article is quite ‘ha ha, right on, those crazy kids aren’t letting The Man get them down’.
But I saw a lot of them as more ‘we like judging other people, but we don’t let that stop us being revolting hypocrites.’
hi guys
i’m international student ,i’m planing to study at seattle pacific university
i need some information about SPU ,and what do u think about it is a good university or not ???
Thanks
Abdullah
College students breaking the rules? SHOCKING!
I wonder if Eli would have written this article if SPU was Open and Affirming but still didn’t allow sex outside of marriage in it’s code of conduct for students – gay or straight?
This is disgusting. Of course SPU kids have sex, THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS. Who gives a shit where they have it, or how they do it. Nobody wants to hear the disillusions of an attention starved college boy.
Why is The Stranger so obsessed with it?
Maybe you should learn how to actually run a newspaper, and start writing shit that is actually worth reading.
SPU is a great school with Christians, non Christians, Virgins, not Virgins. There is a policy put in place because this is a Christian university (made very clear all over the website/application), not because SPU wants to “sexually repress” people. You must think really highly of yourself to actually think that the rules at SPU are put in place just to cock block you. I am a sexual being, and I don’t feel like I am scarred for life or have to go fuck in the prayer room because of some “policy” that is barely enforced. IF YOU REALLY HATE IT THAT MUCH THEN GO TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL.
I’m sure there are kids fucking in the libraries at UW. Go write an article about that.
Assholes.
I attend SPU and will graduate next year. I have heard a lot of SPU students talking about this article and decided to check it out for myself.
Yes most of these stories are true and I have had a friend that had sex with a SPU worker’s relative and that friend was forced to move to a different dorm! Yes I think SPU has archaic policies and thank God they finally changed their alcohol policies so that students 21 and over can now freely drink off campus without having to watch their backs. There are still floor hours which only permit visiting hours to opposite gender’s floors from noon to 11pm. It really depends on your PA(RA) how strict these rules are followed but for the most part I got in trouble for many ridiculous things that legal adults should not have to try to hide.
SPU may have questionable policies and deal with some topics rather poorly but I have had a great education and would not choose a different school even if I had the chance.
I attend SPU and will graduate next year. I have heard a lot of SPU students talking about this article and decided to check it out for myself.
Yes most of these stories are true and I have had a friend that had sex with a SPU worker’s relative and that friend was forced to move to a different dorm! Yes I think SPU has archaic policies and thank God they finally changed their alcohol policies so that students 21 and over can now freely drink off campus without having to watch their backs. There are still floor hours which only permit visiting hours to opposite gender’s floors from noon to 11pm. It really depends on your PA(RA) how strict these rules are followed but for the most part I got in trouble for many ridiculous things that legal adults should not have to try to hide.
SPU may have questionable policies and deal with some topics rather poorly but I have had a great education and would not choose a different school even if I had the chance.
Eli knows what he is writing about since the word on the street is that he has routinely propositioned nearly every gay student on campus and rumor has it he regularly bent over for anyone,anywhere,anytime. As the the saying goes “you write about what you know” and Eli certainly knows cock. Oh yea this has pulitzer written all over it ! It really sucks when someone writes an article with no proven basis in fact using anonymous sources does’nt it ? Oh well at least it will be read by very few since your hatchet job appeared in a rag that is most often used by street drunks for insulation or butt wipe.
@20 —
. . . I’m not sure these stories have anything to do with “reeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to have sex that bad [sic].” I feel a certain amount of disappointment with commenters such as yourself, and others who dismiss this article as ‘boring,’ and the like.
You’ve missed the point entirely.
Humans are one of very few (known) species on the planet evolved enough to experience pleasure during sex; humans are sexual creatures (see: the clitoris) — whether black, white, gay, straight, christian, or atheist, your junk was given to you so that, yes, you can procreate (if that’s what you’re into), but also so you can have a damn good time doing it.
The fact that SPU bans all varieties of sexual activity in the school’s official guidelines isn’t just offensive and overbearing to those who disagree with the way SPU chooses to impose on the lifestyles of its student body, but is stifling to human nature itself. Wanting to have sex “that bad[ly]” has absolutely nothing to do with it.
@20 —
. . . I’m not sure these stories have anything to do with “reeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to have sex that bad [sic].” I feel a certain amount of disappointment with commenters such as yourself, and others who dismiss this article as ‘boring,’ and the like.
You’ve missed the point entirely.
Humans are one of very few (known) species on the planet evolved enough to experience pleasure during sex; humans are sexual creatures (see: the clitoris) — whether black, white, gay, straight, christian, or atheist, your junk was given to you so that, yes, you can procreate (if that’s what you’re into), but also so you can have a damn good time doing it.
The fact that SPU bans all varieties of sexual activity in the school’s official guidelines isn’t just offensive and overbearing to those who disagree with the way SPU chooses to impose on the lifestyles of its student body, but is stifling to human nature itself. Wanting to have sex “that bad[ly]” has absolutely nothing to do with it.
As a former student, I’d like to say that while I think the university ought to be more open about this subject, it really starts with the men or lack thereof on the campus. Chivalry is only dead as long as jerk-offs who can’t keep it in their pants aren’t. If you’re a guy committing to uphold certain standards of respect toward women at the university, you’ve got to be tough and control yourself. Put their self esteem above your own gratification. Sure, jerk it if you need to. But don’t go fooling around with a girl’s sexuality just because you’re on the same campus for the next four years. If you’re not willing to stick with her through thick and thin as a life partner, then don’t touch her because she is likely someone else’s. In my experience, there are a couple guys out there who have a face-full of fist coming due to the hurt they’ve caused if I ever cross paths with them again. So man-up, fellas. Earn your sex. Nice guys don’t “finish last”, they hold out for the good stuff.
Have sex with fun but safe and secure.
The tone here against SPU is kind of like obnoxious kids up to mischief on the playground and ridiculing those who won’t join in. Apparently the fact that there are people who actually attempt to control themselves makes you feel a little guilty, eh?