The Internet's super mad at you about this, Shirley.

Lil' boobs are sexy! Sexy! Sexy!

@99 And if I was a scat fetishist, I'd say purple suit guy was covered with shit smears.

You're projecting. Go watch a Bailey Jay video.

I really have to say, being 5'2, 32 DD, and the first in my class at a young age to get breasts (and large ones) you really have not missed much. I have so much back pain, so much un-wanted attention, not to mention I can never find clothes that fit or are flattering blah blah blah things already said on here. Oh, and I forgot the whole being objectified by older men thing that some times happens around 14 or so (which happens too often.)

Trust me, you are not missing out, but I am really wishing I skipped out on this article. Woweee was this 'off-ful'.

@107 hoopla: I agree; this article really is awful---especially the tasteless artwork.
You have my sympathy, as well. I can certainly relate (see my comment @22).

After a re-read, I can't believe I missed these posts!
@48: You're very fortunate.
@50: I agree!! Where is Lindy West????

Shirley, believe me, you do NOT want D+ sized breasts!
If you're still not convinced, you're a hopeless bimbo
who will find out painfully when suddenly your back is
killing you, and "cute little sex kitten" clothes look ridiculous
on you.

Lindy---please come back!!!

auntie gee shut the f up! your corniness is suffocating like when u get stuck up your pet pig's ass.

Dear Shirley- I do not pretend to speak for guys general but I am a mn who actually prefers small breasts. As for silicone- no thanks!

Just remember to keep evaluating women by their appearances, people. It's our BODIES that matter,and we need to keep comparing our bodies to other women's bodies and images we see of other women's bodies and what men say they want women's bodies to be like, at all costs. Literally, spend all of your money on that. For the rest of your lives. Teach your children to expect the same. WE'VE GOT VALUES TO UPHOLD HERE FOLKS.

@110 rayraybinks: Your pathetically dateless, illiterate little troll record squeals for itself.

Oh backless dresses and tops how I dream of u! Not to mention the criss-crossing neckline or wrap around dresses. oh and btw it is not just creeper dudes! wore a tank top to a dyke dance and some little sawed off butch was exactly as tall as my cleavage and felt that this entitled her to park her face directly in my chest. this was a complete stranger! who then uttered the age old line "well what do u expect when u wear such and such" I'm so sorry for wearing a raceback tank top and a full coverage bra in the summer time! forgive me sire!! oh and ever try to wear a tank top with the built in "bra" eeeeek! i wish i could go braless but it is awkward for all involved

The comments are more interesting and insightful than this article.

In Which We Remember Feminism

Women’s bodies are constantly sexualized, degraded, and the topic of conversation so often it is an acceptable social practice and discourse; this article is adding insult to injury. I think there is a connection between the way in which we judge others and the way in which we judge ourselves. This author uses body-shaming as a crutch for her own insecurities, which, frankly, seem insincere. As the Stranger is responsible for the content of it's publication, this article should serve as an embarrassment to both you and the author. I think it's important to lay out why.

I agree with the following statement, made by the author in regards to an imagined breast augmentation: “what seems to have conversely degraded in appeal is everything above my neckline.” But not the conclusion she is drawing from it. The general assumption from this piece is that women with big breast don’t have to worry about people judging their minds or their faces (what a relief!) because WOW LOOK AT THOSE BOOBIES. I struggled with this as a young woman, having been told I was “ugly” as a pre-teen but also that I had “big breasts” and wasn’t I lucky? I figured the only way a person would find me attractive is if my “sensuous lady-buoys,” as the author calls them, would distract from my face. It is a terrible way to live your life and a waste of time that too many women fall into. The author seems to think life is easier when women’s breasts distract from their other features. Because this seems to be working for women in general, right?

This article should have concluded with the author realizing that having your body sexualized constantly and in a degrading manner (a la this article) is exhausting, demoralizing, and is not a privilege-maker. But instead she falls into the same old destructive discourse using the female body as a source for subjugation and ridicule. This is middle school bulling wrapped in a VICE-style satire. If you can’t get something published without insulting and degrading people then you are not a good writer. Give women’s breasts and vaginas a break (Howard Stern and Hooters have it covered). And why don’t you back the fuck off homeless people, while you’re at it.

@116: Hear, hear!!

It's like - a pain in the back and shoulders.