Hello, new college students, and welcome to Seattle. Congratulations on choosing the only city in the United States that won’t be on fire, underwater, or irrelevant by the time you’re out of school.
This is The Stranger‘s annual guide to the things your school administrators are not going to want to talk to you about, including how to eat pussy, who to avoid on campus, where the best cheap food is, and how to do psychedelics without dying.
Typically we also include a piece like “How to Binge Drink and Not Die” or “How to Drink in Your Dorm and Not Get Caught” or “How to Drink Tequila Through Your Mouth, Nose, and Eyes,” but this year we decided to shake things up. Ryan Matthews has written a very helpful guide on how to not drink.
As for the people to avoid, Jasmyne Keimig’s listen be found here.
