Since The Haunting in Connecticut (a totally creepy movie, by the way) is based on true events, there are many lessons to be learned upon viewing this film. Don't want to be haunted by hundreds of evil and eyelidless dead people with cryptic messages carved into their flesh who are trying to kill you and your family? Then follow these easy steps:

1. Don't be a teenage cancer patient undergoing an experimental treatment that may cause hallucinations.

2. Don't be the stressed-out mother of a hallucinating teenage cancer patient and don't be married to an alcoholic who, when he drinks, can be just as frightening as the ghosts who may be haunting you.

3. If you are the mother of a teenage cancer patient (as well as married to a creepy alcoholic), don't move your family out to a eerie old house in the middle of the woods that once operated as a funeral home.

4. If you do decide to move to an eerie old house formerly used as a place to drain the blood of dead people and store their bodies, and ghosts do happen to start taunting you, your hallucinating and sick son, and the rest of your family, FUCKING MOVE.

But what may sound like common sense to most people is apparently more difficult for others to grasp. So when the Campbell family refuses to follow steps 1 through 4—surprise!—very unsettling things begin to happen.

And The Haunting does a pretty great job of making their nightmare feel as scary as possible. Throughout the screening, there was nervous giggling coming from the audience. Not because the dead kid with the melted-off face up on the screen was funny, but because he was absolutely terrifying and we all knew he was probably about to do something that would make us nearly piss our pants. And he did. Every time. Only at the "epic" end did it get slightly cheesy, and that's just because of the overwrought digital effects. Otherwise, The Haunting is an entertaining and effective thriller (and not a bad learning tool).