Maybe 3 Hearts is an experiment: Shove the plot of a Sweet Valley High novel through a French-o-later, ship it off to America, and see if the Yanks will mistake this tortured and ridiculous love triangle between two sisters and a nebbish ginger for some sort of grand affair of the heart. After all, everyone's smoking and drinking, très francais, and doesn't Charlotte Gainsbourg look just like Patti Smith at her age? The venerable Catherine Deneuve is the only one here who knows what's up: She just scowls in the background looking disapproving as fuck. Right there with you, Catherine.