The new Robin Hood, starring Taron Egerton, is very, very bad. It is meant to be an of-the-times modernized update of a familiar story—Egerton goes by “Rob”—but feels like a movie for teens made by someone who dislikes teens and thinks they are idiots. It is a dumb and incoherent movie that provokes unintended giggling. It is not the kind of thing you’ll want to spend a lot of money on.
Here are some things that happen in the new Robin Hood: