Comedy is pretty much my main squeeze, my number-one lady, and (to
quote Jim Walsh’s slutty secretary on Beverly Hills, 90210) my
“sweet and sour baby lamb,” so I’m totally behind anyone who’s trying
to make funny jokes happen. But it’s a stony path, comedy, and
here’s the thing: Most people aren’t funny. And most funny people
aren’t good at comedy. And unfunny comedy is the fucking worst.
That’s why, even though I totally support the idea of What
the Hell Did I Just Watch?, the comedy “Anti-Film Festival” at the
Rendezvous, it juuuuuust wasn’t my favorite thing to sit through. I’m
sorry! I really am! The dudes at the door couldn’t have been sweeter.
They handed out free beers, and they didn’t get mad at me for being
late (I had to tear myself away from a drunken postcaucus
party), and I think it’s totally commendable to give aspiring
comedians and moviemakers a forum in which to display their work.
Comedy is a process and everyone has to start somewhere.
But there’s a reason why I don’t go sit in the front row at open-mic
night every week: The painful adolescence of budding comedy careers
isn’t necessarily something I want stinking up my psyche. Out of
the 10 or so WTHDIJW? submissions on the night I attended (it’s
different every time) I only actually laughed at two (Kevin Cease’s
Blake Lewis Is Shitting in my Bathroom, and
Fruit Heaven by Black Daisy, who are brilliant even at their
least brilliant).
As for the rest, most had good, solid ideas, and you could see the
process behind them. Someone was watching To Catch a Predator with his pals, and then Joey was all, “Wouldn’t it be funny if, instead
of a creepy old dude, it was, like, your grandma?” and then
everyone laughed (“DUDE, that is sick, dude!”) and then Scooter was
like, “Dude, you guys, we should TOTALLY film that!” And then they did.
To Catch a Grandmother. Ta-daaaaah! Are you even
listening to me?
If you want to go to WTHDIJW?, the final show (Sat Feb 16 at 7 and
8:30 pm) seems like a good bet. It’s the “Best of the Fest!” which
means that earlier festgoers, like me, have voted on our favorites and
cut out the stinkers.
Because, you know—much like that episode of 90210 when Brenda starts hanging out at the coffeehouse
and doing “standup comedy,” but then just when she’s about to drop out
of school her “performance artist” friend’s furniture gets repossessed
and Brenda realizes that there’s no money in jokes—just not
everybody is cut out to do comedy. Some of you are stinkers. 
