Looking for a fun, interactive experience with a TV show? Your odds
are better crossing writers’ picket lines. Most TV-inspired games try
to convert lame properties like CSI into something worth
playing—but do gamers really want to spend $30 to collect virtual
semen? What makes the CSI game terrible is the fact that, like
most licensed games, it does little more than slap a few show elements
(characters, voices) onto gameplay that is boring, boring,
boring. When season-length DVD sets are cheaper, why bother with
the cash-ins? Still, if you’re desperate to synergize your TV and
gaming addictions, here’s the best of the rotten crop.
The Simpsons Game (dev. EA, for Xbox 360, PS2, Wii):
Simpsons games are notorious for being weak, but the latest is
actually decent, complete with series writers and animators chipping
in. Funny? Very, as long as you love video-game jokes. Trouble is, the
funny comes mostly from cartoon video clips. In the actual game,
characters repeat quotes like an annoying catch-phrase keychain, and
the action is generic 3-D platforming with only a little satire mixed
in. Solution? Rent the game, unlock the videos with a code, then return
it. Mmm… cheaty.
The Office (dev. MumboJumbo, for PC): My ideas for this game
were better—Dwight as a virtual pet, or a war sim between the
U.S. and British casts. But nah, it’s just a rehash of the puzzle game
Diner Dash with The Office‘s cast slapped on it, as you
race against coworkers to fill cubicle requests. It’s more fun than it
sounds, but the game’s no good for cube slaves—too fast-paced to
steal your at-work alt-tabs from Minesweeper or porn. Worse,
there’s no voice acting or original show material. At one point, Pam
actually says, “I have a hankering for some prankering.” This was made
before the writers’ strike.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am (dev. Midway, for
PS2): And then there’s this, uh, golf/combat/go-cart game. Though I
could go into the pros (hilarious, original Aqua Teen material)
and the cons (gameplay kinda sucks ass), this review is best summed up
by a verbal exchange between Mooninites in level two: “I’m toasted.”
“Me too.” It’s the closest we may ever get to a 3-D Funyuns simulator.
