I could’ve put down my pen and let the birds in my throat fly—charming the globe with my musical ejaculations.
Guys! I’m on vacation this week, so attempt to enjoy this vintage I Love Television™ column from way back in 2006! —Humpy
Most people can only be successful in one career. Me, I could be a superstar in a myriad of professions—from award-winning chimney sweep, to championship drag racer, to toothbrush manufacturer, to world’s sexiest proctologist. HOWEVER! My true talents lie in one of two professions: writing nonsensical tripe in tabloids such as this, and “professional singing.” While I’m certainly well known for the former, when it comes to the latter I am repeatedly hounded…