- TOP GUN
It’s an annual tradition: I look back at all the columns I wrote during the past year and marvel at the insanely stupid things I said. Then I collect those insipid, drippingly terrible sentences and reprint the dumbest of them here in hopes I will someday learn my lesson and just shut the hell up. Again… DIDN’T WORK.
And now… “The Year in Stupid Things I Really Wish I Hadn’t Said (Presented Completely Out of Context).” Enjoy! (?)
• Sherlock stars Benedict Cumberbund… Cinderstun… Cumquatsnatch… NOBODY CAN SPELL YOUR NAME, IDIOT.
• I only require one thing from “science”: the ability to pluck the eyeballs out of my head, roll them in cocaine, and stick them back in again. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO ACCOMPLISH?…