(PANT! PANT! Boinnnggg! AH-oooooh-GAH!)
Sure, it could be said I have a “sexual hair trigger”—but I see it as just one of my many superpowers. Along with my superhuman ability to know every restaurant in town that serves egg salad, and being able to talk my way out of felony charges, I can also become “sexually aroused” in a number of varied, unusual ways. For example, while the flick of your booty obviously drives me to erotic frenzy, I am also turned on by alligator wrestling, funny voices caused by inhaling helium, and “science.” YES, SCIENCE. Science makes me harder than the Washington Monument on Viagra—the problem is, it gets me so excited I can barely remember any of it!
However! There is one science person who gets me more aroused than all the rest…