Jon Stewart trained us to be media and political watchdogs.
I hope you’re all satisfied! I GOT A VASECTOMY. And believe me, it wasn’t my choice. My choice would’ve been to continue the national baby-making spree I’ve enjoyed for decades—because why shouldn’t the world be covered with lots of li’l Humpies? AMIRITE? But times have changed, and apparently having a baby that looks exactly like me has fallen out of style. However! While my multitude of partners may no longer desire my sperm, THEY STILL WANT THAT HOT HUMPY “SEX,” BELIEVE YOU ME! And hence? The vasectomy. Sometimes you have to bend to the will of the people.
That being said, vasectomies are great if you like lying around on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on your scrotum…