- Black Mirror
Do I look rich to you? Do I look like the kind of pee-hole Richie Rich Lamborghini-driving jag-off who can afford to buy all of my readers presents? NO, I DO NOT. That’s why this gift-giving season, I’m taking “The Little Drummer Boy” approach—which, if you’re unfamiliar, is the story of a little kid who didn’t have any frankincense or myrrh to give baby Jesus, so instead he banged all night on a drum. (Which, if it happened today, would be a good reason to call child protective services.) ANYWAY! “The Little Drummer Boy” approach simply means giving someone something that has absolutely no value at all and is in fact sort of annoying—but because of the “spirit of the season” you not only have to accept this non-gift, you have to act super grateful for it. HAHAHAHAAAAA! WOTTA RACKET, AMIRITE??
That being said, here’s my gift to you—which is only slightly less annoying than an idiot kid banging on a drum…