Okay, everybody… on three: One… two… three… REALITY SHOWS EAT DONKEY BOTTOM! Grrrr, I hate reality shows sooo much. Yes, I’ll allow that some reality shows provide a certain grotesque, pornographic pleasure—for example, Real Housewives, Dance Moms, and MasterChef Junior. I’m also a disgruntled fan of the poorly acted dramatic re-creations on Investigation Discovery’s I (Almost) Got Away with It whenever I suffer from stomach flus or debilitating hangovers. HOWEVER! Any show with Kardashians, tiny beauty pageant contestants/football players, Christians with a billion kids, gold/ghost hunters, loggers, “pickers,” jackass chefs, horny bachelor/bachelorettes, house flippers, and morally bereft hillbillies only proves my ultimate point: REALITY SHOWS EAT DONKEY BOTTOM!
I’m pretty sure reality shows would eat less donkey bottom if they mixed up their formats a bit. Practically every one of these series force cast members to become either heroes or “bitches,” orchestrate moments for the sole purpose of using their “record scratch” sound effect…