David Lewis is a local writer. He has read lots of books. He and I and 10 others did a deep reading of Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita and Pale Fire at Hugo House last fall. He is also familiar with the works of Jorge Luis Borges, one of the greatest literary minds to have become a part of the world (he was born the same year as Nabokov—1899). Lewis will be on television tomorrow. The show is called First Dates, and is produced by Ellen DeGeneres, narrated by Drew Barrymore, and based on a hit UK show of the same name. According to NBC, “this new series offers a voyeuristic look at a variety of real first dates happening throughout one night at the same restaurant in Chicago.” Lewis is on one of these dates.
I asked him to explain himself. How did he end up in this strange situation? He responded by e-mail:
Ellen DeGeneres wants to do a more realistic dating show where people just eat and talk while being filmed by hidden cameras. With an emphasis on real people they scoured the country trying to find the most authentic nerd in America, which is apparently me. Before going on the show I didn’t actually consider myself to be that nerdy, but that’s because I was comparing myself to 400lb. guys who dress up in drag as Harley Quinn for Comicon.
How did he make himself appear to be the nerdiest American?
At first I thought I would have to super-nerd it up for them somehow, either by putting a ton of pens in my pocket or greatly exaggerating my Star Trek fandom, but when the car picked me up at the airport I met another guest on the show who used to be an underwear model for Milan Fashion Week. I mean he was so good looking that until seeing him in person I always assumed people like that only existed on the labels of the underwear packets I shelved at T.J. Maxx. I mean he looked like he was digitally airbrushed in real life. Compared to him I was totally a nerd and didn’t have to add anything. I did decide to go through with the pens in my pocket because I already brought the pens with me anyway. It’s actually not a bad look.
When was the thing shot?
It was filmed almost two years ago so I have basically no memory of anything I said or did, but I do remember internally having a major identity crisis on film, both in the restaurant and in the predate interview, where I couldn’t figure out whether or not I was a nerd or just somebody with a few nerd-like characteristics. A lot of rambling and mumbling occurred. By the time the chocolate fondue came I think I finally decided that whether or not I was a nerd, the whole “nerd movement” thing is not something that should be embraced, and is actually destroying the country. This was all pre-Trump, so at the time it seemed like a much bigger deal.
Have you seen the episode?
I have’t yet. It airs Friday night at 8:00 on NBC, but from the promotional clips that have been released all my friends say it is exactly what I am like so I guess in the end Ellen DeGeneres is going to get that authentic touch that she wanted. It is me, but it is totally not the me I wish it was. Reality sucks.
