Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please do something for me right now—even if you’re busy, even if we haven’t gotten along in the past, even if your baby is on fire and a dingo ate your house, click on this link and go watch this trailer.

Click it.

CLICK IT.

Watch the trailer all the way up until the moment you start to get incredibly bored. Then KEEP WATCHING AT ALL COST. I am honored to have lived through this moment with you.

Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more....

57 replies on “Paul Blart: Zoo Cop”

  1. PS: it appears there is controversy because the trainers of the elephant, Tai, used in this film have been caught on film abusing the poor animal in the past.
    Truely, elephants don’t belong where they have to be psychologically dominated…

  2. @7/9: colin firth? george clooney? no wait…..ricky gervais!. yeah what that character needs is an accent.

    oh wait I think that’s the loaded cookie talking.

  3. Oh, Lindy. You didn’t even know we were married, but now, for making me watch that trailer, (what if I’d been spotted!) we must divorce. I trusted you.

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