Biceps clearly visible. Remain calm.
San Andreas is an amazing movie. Shut up. I’m serious. It’s fucking amazing. Before you try to argue with me, let me say two words: The Rock. Dwayne Johnson, aka “The Rock,” aka “Bronzed God of Dimples and the People’s Eyebrow,” is San Andreas. This could be the end of my review, as I’ve said everything that needs to be said about this film. But I’m paid by the word…