7515 15th Ave NW, 706-4973.

Description: Beloved by paying admirers of naked boobies, the T-Bird Tavern is a sports bar situated right next door to the Crown Hill strip club Sands Showgirls.

Scene at 4 pm on a Mon: Beyond the lone retiree wearily tapping a touch-screen video game, the bar is empty.

Other unsavory Ts: T-Town (aka Tulsa, Oklahoma), T-Pain (aka the hit-making R&B star/Vocoder abuser/ring-tone zillionaire).

Happy hours: Beer specials daily 4–7 pm, well specials daily 2–6 pm.

Happy-hour drink specials: $2 domestic drafts (Bud, Rainier), $3 micro drafts (Long Hammer IPA, New Belgium Sunshine Wheat), $3 wells.

Food specials: $5 buys two hot dogs and a bag of chips.