I love your firecracker sandwich—whoever thought of combining mayo, garlic, chicken, bacon, jalapeños, cheese, lettuce, tomato, ranch dressing, and "firecracker seasoning" on bread and serving it with hot barbecue sauce is an effing genius.

I know! The firecracker is amazing. Our owner Marlene came up with the recipe.

What's in the firecracker seasoning?

I can't tell you.



Fine. I have other questions. Do people still call your restaurant because they think you're the other Tubs? The bathtub place where people got nekkid?

Yeah. We still get at least two calls a day from people looking to book hot tubs. We usually just tell them our store got shut down for prostitution. Then they stop calling.

How do you respond when people try to scale back on their sandwiches, thus making them less delicious? Do you ever try to stage an intervention to protect the sanctity of the sandwich from picky eaters?

I would, but I'm pretty much on autopilot all day long. Mostly I just try to write everything down as fast as I can, you know?

Yes. Now can you tell me what's in the firecracker sauce?