Oh, the 12-year-old boy that lives in my brain and controls my sense of humor! I saw “sausage fest” and immediately started giggling. Does this event allow women? Or is it an event that WISHES there were women, but sadly, none showed up? Other slang with similar meanings includes “brodeo” and sometimes “circle jerk.” But the Everett Sausage Festival is NONE OF THESE! Nope! Nein! In reality, it’s a family-friendly German-style Oktoberfest, with live music, carnival rides, kids’ games, arts and crafts, and something called Xtreme Bingo. Oh yeah, and: THERE WILL BE SAUSAGES! And a beer garden and bunches of Bavarian food with all the knackwurst, bockwurst, and bratwurst you can eat. (Perpetual Help Church Grounds, 2619 Cedar St, Everett, everettsausagefest.com, noon–7 pm, free, all-ages, Oct 3–5)