No one shoved a lady, threw any punches, broke a tibia, or got tased or thrown in jail at last weekend’s Cochon 555, but that’s Seattle for you: polite, even when massive quantities of pork are involved.
The Sunday before, the Portland version of the Dionysian cook-off—”5 CHEFS, 5 PIGS, 5 WINEMAKERS” in 11 cities—took a violent turn, with Cochon 555 organizer Brady Lowe and chef Eric Bechard coming to fisticuffs outside a Chinatown strip club. An allegedly very inebriated Bechard (who was an attendee, not a participant) became irate that the winning pig was sourced from Iowa, and he allegedly pushed Cochon co-organizer (and Lowe’s ladyfriend) Carolina Uribe. Then came the fistfight. Then came the cops—at least seven of them, according to the Oregonian—and Bechard was pepper-sprayed, Lowe was tased, and both men were arrested (to be eventually released with charges dropped).
“I’m very Oregon-centric, maybe to a fault,” Bechard told Willamette Week in a later moment of near-insight. He also apologized to “everyone involved.” WW reported that “most of the witnesses say Bechard started the ruckus. Bechard says Lowe started it.”
At Cochon 555 Seattle, Lowe was on crutches, looking happy if harried. Asked about the state of his tibia, he looked less happy; he said it hurt, but that he counted himself somewhat lucky because the fracture was not of the more egregious kind. (He also sustained a concussion in the incident.) Asked about Bechard, he termed him “a ding-dong.” As for the whole fracas: “It’s ridiculous,” Lowe said. “He says he doesn’t remember what happened, but he remembers specific things he said.”
The room at Bell Harbor International Conference Center was stuffed full of grazillions of people who’d paid $125 a pop to eat more pig than you’d think humanly possible, with each chef preparing at least four courses of pork. (Also astonishing: the amount of biodegradable-
cutlery-and-paperware waste piling up in multiple garbage cans, and the long, long lines that $125-payers patiently stood in to get fed.) One man partook of the pork with a rubber pig snout strapped to his forehead. Earth & Ocean’s Adam Stevenson made pig-brain ravioli in pig dashi broth—the former tasting of secret pig thoughts, the latter of distilled soul of pork.
Excellent sausage with terrifyingly clear, hot jelly (napalm?) was served by Chow Foods’ Anthony Hubbard. Among other piggy sweets, Chester Gerl of Matt’s in the Market made cayenne-laced mole ice cream with cinnamon chicharrones, and pork-related ice-cream sandwiches by Tamara Murphy (of Elliott Bay Cafe, Burning Beast, and the late, great Brasa) proved so popular that piggish people ate them all up and some people didn’t get any.
The winner: Lark’s John Sundstrom, crowned the “Prince of Porc” and ready to advance to the finals at the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen next month. His insanest creation: “Doped Empanadas with Injected Pork Love,” syringed full of pork fat just before delivery to your mouth.
Elsewhere for the eating: two kinds of posole, huge planks of fatty belly, blocks of lard rillettes, a rusty-red belly/liver/blood curry, miniature bacon-and-apple ice-cream cones, candied bacon, little pulled-pork sandwiches, little rafts of puff pastry rescuing pork-
passengers, crunchy-crackly pork, soft-slow-cooked pork, pork, pork, PORK. What vegetation was available was generally pushed to the sides of platters, ignored in favor of the pork. Meanwhile, Ryan Farr of San Francisco’s 4505 Meats demonstrated how to butcher a cold, pale whole pig in a makeshift operating theater on one side of the room; an appreciative audience watched while continuing to stuff its collective face. (Bechard apparently took issue with this aspect of Cochon 555 as well—the Oregonian reported that a witness to the fistfight said he proclaimed, “Food doesn’t come from San Francisco, food comes from Portland.”)
As for the cooked pig-victims, one was a Mangalitsa from Washington’s Wooly Pigs, two came from Oregon (a Berkshire and a Berkshire/Duroc), and three came from the Midwest (another Berkshire, a Red Wattle, and a Tamworth). The sixth pig was prepared luau-style by special guest chef Gabriel Claycamp, who also brought the Swinery Girls—several women in high heels and short skirts who served pork from boxes strapped under their bosoms, cigarette-girl style. One had a tray of Triscuits with a whipped-cream dispenser full of foamy pork-liver pâté, prompting Claycamp to crow into a microphone, “Come and get a blowjob from the canister!” The rest of the faction from the Swinery—Claycamp’s sustainably focused butcher shop in West Seattle—wore T-shirts that read “EVERYBODY WANTS OUR MEAT IN THEIR MOUTH” across the back. (While no physical blows were issued at Cochon 555, Gabriel Claycamp may be counted on for a punch to the brain.) The luau pig, brought out as a grand finale, was swarmed in a frenzy by a crowd that had apparently already forgotten the 27 courses of pork consumed moments before.
Wine-tasting pours were parsimonious, perhaps in the service of keeping the peace. At Cochon 555’s closing, a double-decker bus conveyed those who weren’t inexorably slipping into a food coma to an afterparty at the W Hotel, which featured more drinks and, unthinkably, lamb. Nothing newsworthy occurred there.
Regarding what she termed “the attack,” co-organizer and alleged pushee Uribe said, “It’s just the one guy—it definitely doesn’t represent Portland.” But, she said, “Definitely, Seattle is more about the love.” Cochon 555 plans to return to both cities next year. 
Dear the Stranger,
Why do you assume that Seattle wants to look at someone stabbing the face off of a pig?
I am fully aware that pigs (with their attending faces) are where meat comes from. This is why I choose not to eat other animals. It isn’t easy a lot of the time, and I’m not one of those sanctimonious assholes who pretends that enlightenment (or whatevs) comes naturally to me. I miss bacon, sure. The hardest part, though, isn’t eating hummus when everyone else is eating short ribs. The hardest part is watching other people pretend that it’s funny, how things die for the pleasure of their palette.
It’s not funny. You joke about it because the truth is often uncomfortable, and you don’t want to be uncomfortable, so you look askance. Which is also why people move to Bellevue.
So this picture of a pig’s face with is jowls laid open, it’s not pleasant. It’s not nice. It’s supposed to be “real” and “honest” because somehow people have it in their minds that looking in the eyes of an animal before killing it so they can have a nice snack is somehow more thoughtful than buying their meat from a package.
But it’s not. It’s just another way to avoid really looking. You look at that pig-face and you see a way to be “green”, to go against the system get your food “responsibly”. But you don’t see a pig. You still see a snack.
Please stop reminding me.
Are pigs more worthy of compassion than all the people you are currently *not* throwing yourself in front a tank for? Do you also object to pictures of children you’re *not* saving from disease and malnutrition? They are more worthy of your time than your fellow citizens awaiting execution on death row?
We all draw lines somewhere. You choose to go without meat out of compassion, which is fine, but you are willfully ignoring slaughter of your fellow man on all sides! Despite this, you will cast judgment on others, who may be fighting any number of battles in their own callings, simply because they’re ignoring the one you yourself feel is worthy of championing?
When animal slaughter has become the WORST crime being committed, get back to me and I’ll be sure to feel properly ashamed.
The picture of Ryan Farr masterfully breaking down a pig is gorgeous. I watched him do this in person and applaud the Stranger for capturing Ryan’s skills in a photo. If TMK does not want to look at pictures of delicious animals being butchered, then stay on your PETA sites oe whatever you choose to read. No one is forcing you to look. Just like no one is forcing you to eat meat. Why must all you silly vegetarians try to push your silly beliefs on others. We do’t force you to eat meat, yet you want everyone else to do as you do. Vegetarians need to chill the fuck out and mind you own fucking business!
I think it’s kind of funny how bonkers people go when you mention that eating animals necessarily involves some cruelty.
Why am I allowed to only care about one thing at a time? Does the fact that I care about animals mean I care about human animals any less? It, in fact, absolutely does not, which is why I work in nonprofit and volunteer with immigrant kids. It’s an extension of compassion, not a removal. And no, no-one is forcing me to look, just like no-one has ever forced me to watch someone get raped. That doesn’t make it okay.
Wow! My eating meat is the equivalent of someone getting raped. You really are a fucking lunatic. When you make such utterly ridiculous comparisons you only devalue your own silly arguments. You probably have valid reasons for choosing not to eat meat. What you don’t have is a valid reason to tell others what to eat; to impose your subjective morals on others. Again, MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!
Killing animals for food makes animals objects for human use, just as rape (or slavery for that matter) makes humans objects for use. It denies an animal’s interest in living his/her life and ranks our culinary preference above another being’s interest in not being killed.
This is something that is difficult for us all to acknowledge because of the way using animals is so engrained in our culture/history/tradition/taste. Rather than getting defensive and acting like TMK is trying to ‘impose subjective morals on others’, why can’t we all make an effort to think rationally and question this system that is based on using animals in ways that we would never condone if the victims were human?
In fact, my own personal experience of sexual violence has only made me MORE compassionate to those who are used or taken advantage of.
The same violence and oppression that takes animals as its subject takes human subjects, as well. There is, for example, a well-documented correlation between abuse of animals and abuse of women and children. I think if we truly care about things like compassion and justice then we have to care about all places where living, feeling beings are objectified and harmed. I don’t think eating animals equals rape, but both are “justified” by the same system of oppression.
If that makes me a “fucking lunatic”, then I’ll willingly take that title.
I’m with TMK on this one. The Stranger digs getting gnarly with animals because they know how controversial it is, and it seems to be a kind of “feast on this, fuckers” kind of attitude.
I’m aware there are people who will NEVER give up their meat. They won’t even cut back. Sustainable or not. Humane or not. Fine. But Stranger, spare me the pictures of people with knives chasing animals up and down the feces-smeared walls of the slaughterhouse. Thanks.
You know why they dig getting “gnarly with animals?” Because there are so many pretentious fucks in Seattle and it’s fun getting you riled up.
Do people get this riled up when the image is of a hamburger? It’s the same thing, dead meat. This is not a video of people abusing cows in the Midwest, or pictures of chickens living stacked on top of each other.
Maybe they ran that picture b/c the cut looks really tasty?
Consuming meat is natural to us, because we’re omnivores. And I don’t understand why cute animals is where the line gets drawn..Plants are beautiful, I still eat them. Hell, some plants eat meat too. It’s nature, and we’re just as much part of it as any animal or plant, and we also get to eat meat, what you call cruelty is simply natural. Only when we kill animals we try to do so as quick and painless as possible, try to find another animal that will be so kind.
Love the pics, I wish it was a little closer to where I live so I’d have a chance to visit.
This is fucking gross.
@8: “But Stranger, spare me the pictures of people with knives chasing animals up and down the feces-smeared walls of the slaughterhouse. Thanks.”
But that isn’t what’s being depicted up there, so …?
@7: “There is, for example, a well-documented correlation between abuse of animals and abuse of women and children.”
So, you don’t think eating a hamburger equals rape, but you do imply that anyone who eats a hamburger or enjoys seeing this photo also is likely to hit a child. You need to delineate between people who try to live omnivorous lives with the greatest awareness possible and people who set cats on fire for fun.
So yes, you enjoy that title.
Thanks for taking one for the team, TMK.
I won’t eat pork because I’ve heard pigs being slaughtered. They know what’s coming and they sound human when they scream. I just can’t take that.
Also, who the fuck eats an animal you can get a skin transplant and/or heart valve from? IT’S ONE STEP FROM CANNIBALISM, PEOPLE!
@6
I agree. Eating animals puts our interest in eating them above their interest in surviving. What’s your point?
“Today in Vegan…awesome new vegan establishment. But enough about that, let’s talk about pig slaughter for your eating pleasure. Here’s a photo!”
Way to bait the vegans, Bethany. Sometimes I kinda hate the Stranger.
That was what, the third Slog post on the pig cook-off? Each with a dead pig face staring at me, no courtesy “after-the-jump”, and I didn’t chime in with a complaint. But seriously, putting another one in the Slog post entitled “Today in Vegan”?!
Here’s a thought: why not err on the side of compassion?
We in the Global North, with our high-fat, high-protein diet and vitamin supplements, have no physical need for meat. Meat is also inarguably a) bad for the environment, b) wasteful of resources, and c) really fucking bad for the living, feeling being whose body it comes from. It tastes good, we like it. It’s delicious. It’s a luxury. But, when viewed from a distance with open eyes and compassion, it is a luxury we cannot afford.
@17
So you’re going to give up caffeine, chocolate, any number of other imported foods, excessive internet use to save electricity, and imported electronic goodies? Those all have their share of burden on the environment and the quality of life of those involved, and arguably, we could all lead subsistence lifestyles. Why give up meat versus any of these others? If I gave up the right combination of the others would eating meat then become acceptable?
As for the question of compassion, assuming you are conscientious in where you source your meat, what’s the real difference between breeding animals to live a comparatively low-stress lifespan and then be killed quickly and as humanely as possible versus dying of starvation, disease, or predation-a nasty way to go-in the wild?
@16 are you really surprised? I would PAY for an issue of the Stranger where Bethany herself (NOT one of her peons) offered up a positive review of a vegetarian (vegan preferably, just to prove she can do it) establishment without the slightest bit of snark, condescension or tongue-in-cheek authenticity. Looking back over the last two years of her articles, I can’t find a single one where she even stepped foot in a veg place. It’s that kind of Bourdain attitude (vegetarians aren’t worth my time), combined with the aforementioned baiting that chaps me more than anything else.
I think the animals would have to be gay for the folks at The Stranger to take pity on them, donchathink? It’s pretty clear they’re on a single-minded crusade that doesn’t benefits those of other species.
Hey guys, he’s just butchering the pig. Knives are used to do it. That’s how it’s done, plain and simple.
Why don’t those of us who have had enough of this from Bethany and the Stranger band together and get her removed? Personally, I am sick of the meat fanaticism, and fail to understand the cognitive dissonance of meat-eaters who don’t see how what they put in their mouths is inextricably linked to the polemics of their politics.