Last month, Cards Against Humanity announced a six-part plan to save America. The first part involves thwarting Trump's proposed and very stupid border wall along the U.S./Mexico border. For a mere $15, CAH promised to use your money to purchase land on the border and tie the Trump administration up in a long and protracted eminent domain battle if/when this idiotic wall comes to fruition. The remaining five parts roll out this month, sort of like a handful of "Happy Holidays/Fuck Trump" gifts for America.
The second part was the gift of a podcast, which, let's be honest, is a weird gift. But the third gift has started rolling in and it's the best gift: money.
From their website:
In order for Cards Against Humanity to truly save America, we realized we would have to tackle the biggest issue in the world: wealth inequality.
Here are some crazy facts: Today, eight men own the same amount of wealth as the poorest half of humanity (almost 4 billion people). Most Americans can't come up with $400 in an emergency, and one in five American households have zero or negative wealth.
That is truly fucked. But none of us feel like we can do anything about it.
Every idea has to start somewhere. Our lawyers advised against our first choice—a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their houses—so we settled for something more achievable. Last month, 150,000 people signed up for Cards Against Humanity Saves America. Today, we’re redistributing their money.
When they signed up, subscribers filled out a survey with a mix of demographic questions and red herrings. We ranked everyone based on their survey responses and geographical census data to figure out who most needed money.
Most of our subscribers (about 140,000 people) got nothing today—they could have it worse.
The next 10,000 subscribers received a full $15 refund of their Cards Against Humanity Saves America purchase.
Finally, the poorest 100 people received a check for $1,000, paid for by everyone else.
The website also includes testimonials from folks who received the checks, and they are pretty fucking touching, even to cold-hearted snakes like myself. Here's Tish from Ohio:
I don't know what to say. I am numb. I was laid off on August 1st and have been trying to find a job that I can afford to live on, which is impossible right now. I hadn't really bought anything but necessities with my unemployment since then. I have always wanted to do the holiday specials you offer but never get to them in time. Even though money is tight this year I decided to splurge for myself. With $1,000 I can pay off my car and get the new tires I've needed for a while but couldn't afford. This will allow me to look for jobs further out that need a longer drive. I can also buy Christmas presents for this year, not just from thrift stores. This makes a huge difference in my life. Hopefully it can help me get my life back to where it was. This won't completely change my plans for Christmas but will make it easier. All I can say it thank you all.
You're welcome! Kinda wish I'd bought the CAH package for myself instead of my parents, but Tish deserve it more than us both. And I know this is a giant marketing scheme, but I'm still excited to see what Cards Against Humanity comes up with next. Maybe they can do something about that tax plan.