Freshly out of beta, Hades is the hot new(ish) game getting everyone excited right now, in part because of its hot hot himbos.

You play as Zagreus, the sexy-brooding son of Hades and unhappy Prince of the Underworld. As he attempts to flee the realm of the dead, Zagreus encounters various Greek gods and heroes, nearly all of whom are rendered with bulging muscles and seductive skin. Ancient Greek myths were always pretty horny, so itโ€™s nice to see some fresh pinup art of Zeus and Achilles and Cerberus.

But in playing the game, I realized I remember virtually nothing about their actual stories. Didnโ€™t one of them get eaten by one of the others? Wasnโ€™t there some sort of swan-sex incident? Who was the one with the funny hat? In the latest Play Date video from The Stranger, I attempt to retell the stories of the Greek myths entirely from the memories jogged by the himbos in Hades. It doesn’t go great.

But hey, who needs accurate memories of the source material? This gameโ€™s got everything you could want, which is to say, sensual peeks at buff bodies. And when thereโ€™s dialogue, which is wisely kept very brief, we see a still portrait of a gorgeous god and hear their lines whispered in our ears. Some of the voice actors sound like they were recorded just millimeters from the microphone, which produces the illusion that a gorgeous moody sex god is whispering in your ear. Okay, thank you yes!

On top of that, the gameโ€™s style is completely immersive: It has a bright neon comic-book look, the music is gruff, and the writing and voice acting broods like a sullen teenโ€”I was reminded of something halfway between Beetlejuiceโ€™s Lydia and Buffyโ€™s Spike. That our heroโ€™s dialogue is so serious heightens the comedy of what is, in fact, a very funny game; the land of the dead is presented as a mix of horrors and socially awkward bureaucrats.

And although I started to find each run through the dungeons a little repetitive, theyโ€™re at least quick, and the save functionality is generous, making it an ideal handheld experience for a bus ride, waiting in line, or killing a couple minutes between Zoom meetings. You just might want to make sure you can tiptoe off to someplace private if you need to splash cold water on your face.

Play Date is brought to you by the officially licensed Evil Dead 2 Virtual and real-life Escape Room by Hourglass Escapes, rated the best virtual Escape Room in the United States and Best of 2020 by leading reviewers. Learn more at www.hourglassescapes.com.

Matt Baume covered geek culture, queer news, and city infrastructure, and would leap at the flimsiest of excuses to write about furries. A writer, podcaster, and videomaker, he resides on Capitol Hill...