Even though The Stranger has been trying to get in touch with Robbie Turner for weeks, Turner has never gotten back to us about #UberGate. But Entertainment Weekly managed to snag an exclusive interview, in which the Seattle drag queen admits—whoops!—the whole thing never happened.

So what did happen? Well... it's kind of a long story. And it's a weird one, involving being slipped a roofie, making it home safely and alone, then taking a shower and hitting his head and worrying he had a concussion, and then waking up Sunday and posting what he says was a dream he confused for reality on Facebook and Twitter. Also apparently he wears hats when he showers?

Here's a bit of the interview:

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Can you explain why you posted the tweets about being in a car crash?
ROBBIE TURNER: I woke up with bruises on my body, and I woke up with a headache, so my initial reaction was I thought I had a concussion. I was worried because I was alone… I wasn’t going to be seeing anyone for a few days. I usually try to rest and sit still after a weekend of shows. And I more or less woke up worried that I had a concussion, [so I] made a scheduled post for when people would be waking up Sunday morning… I was already falling asleep and was panicking… I did wake up with very large bruises and a headache, and I’ve always had this irrational fear of concussions.

Where did you get the idea that you’d been in a car accident, though?
After days of poking around and sleuthing to figure out everything I had gone through, days later I saw footage of me coming home, getting out of a car, and getting into my apartment okay. What [I] think happened is that I was slipped something [in my drink], because I didn’t drink that much that night, and [that I] slipped and fell in the shower. The hat I was wearing is completely bent and gross, so we think I hit my head in the shower, got out of makeup, went to bed, and had a very vivid and ridiculous dream.

I’m sorry, but to confirm: You think you slipped in the shower or you were slipped something in your drink?
Both, because I didn’t drink that much that night… I went home immediately after [being out]. I don’t 100 percent remember leaving, and I do not remember coming home at all. At the time that I came home, I had this vivid dream and thought it was 100 percent real, especially once I woke up and had large contusions on my thighs, shoulder, and my head was pounding.

When you woke up, did you attempt to contact the authorities to confirm what had happened?
No, I didn’t, because when I woke up I thought that I had already been to the emergency room. I had a very vivid recollection of being in an emergency room talking with them and a girl trying to calm me down and whatnot, because I still had my drag face on, but not the body and the costume, and I remember her trying to calm me down and telling me that it was going to be okay… and I remember hearing other things from other parts of the hospital, so I woke up honestly thinking that I’d already been seen and that I was home and I was panicked that they released me though I might be having a concussion.

I'm not sure whether the story makes total sense, or makes no sense at all, or maybe someone slipped something into this tea I'm drinking. But all that could change if Turner ever got back to us. He has yet to respond to The Stranger's repeated attempts to make contact.

There is no explicit discussion in Entertainment Weekly of the imaginary dead Uber driver, but if I'm following the interview correctly, the dead Uber driver would have been a detail from the dream.

Robbie also talks about seeking professional help, being raised not to lie, and being put on antidepressants.

Anyway, discuss.