Hey, every man from 18 to 35 in the greater Seattle area: Postmates, UberEATS, Instacart, etc. drivers use our own cars, our own gas and insurance, our own data plans to bring you your Chipotle. We climb your three flights of stairs, we risk getting ticketed or towed every time we pull over, we hustle in Seattle rush-hour traffic to bring your boba tea to your dorm room. News flash: Yes, I'm old enough to be your mom. THAT'S NOT WHY I'M BRINGING YOU YOUR SLURPEE AND SWEDISH FISH, YOU GODDAMN ENTITLED DICKWAD. Nobody is driving for Postmates because they love you, sweetheart. Tip your driver, sunshine. Do we know if you tipped? Absolutely yes. We also know your name and where you live. You're not anonymous. And, yes, we talk about you.