I watch you from my window enough to know who you are and where you live. The first time I saw your dog shit in my yard, I opened the door and asked you if you had forgotten something. "Oops, I didn't see her do that," you replied. That was the only time you picked it up. Since then, I've been putting your dog's deposits into an old pickle bucket I keep out back—and when it's full, it's getting dumped onto your lawn with a complimentary roll of poop bags. I have also posted this on our neighborhood Nextdoor site, complete with screenshots of you, asshole. Hopefully one or the other will spur you into doing your doggy due diligence.

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