Hey, you two—the ones who were tossing food scraps out to the rats at Golden Gardens so you could watch them scurry around in the headlights of your car? Get a life. Find something to do that doesn’t involve feeding flea-bearing, plague-spreading, child-nibbling, non-native vermin. Watch a movie, offer your extra food to the homeless, make out in the front seat—basically, do anything else other than help this ongoing plague of modern civilization survive. In an age where everything you could ever be entertained by is at your fingertips, can’t you find something less flagrantly harmful to public health and welfare to keep yourselves occupied? Maybe just watch the bloody sunset for a change.

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