Hey, asshole car drivers who blow through crosswalks without stopping: PEDESTRIANS HAVE THE RIGHT-OF-WAY. If you were paying attention—as you should be—to the neon yellow sign hanging over this slice of street that reads "Crosswalk" and the neon pedestrian crossing signs on either side (sometimes paired with blinking lights), you'd see me standing there, waiting patiently, staring directly at you, trying to meet your eye, because sometimes that's the only way to get you to STOP. I am supposed to be here. I have a flag in my hand, I'm waving it around so that you can see me better, and still you speed by in 4,000 pounds of steel. It might be annoying to have to wait, but you'll avoid committing vehicular homicide, and I don't want to die that way. Also, to the jerk who yelled at me when I was done crossing, because you had to stop? Fuck. You. Very. Much.

To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, send an e-mail to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.