It is no small feat to hit on someone in the street with so much class that it leaves them impressed and wanting to know you—but you did it, sir.
It was Christmas Eve, and I had run out to the QFC for last-minute ingredients, looking like a mess after putting in a couple hours of sweating it up in my kitchen, thinking I could get in and out pretty anonymously.
On my way out, you walked up alongside me warmly and sure-footed in a way that made me think you were someone I knew. Then you said something to the effect of, “I’m going to say this and not take it any further, but you are the cutest girl in Ballard.”
I stopped walking and tried to formulate a response, but then you said, “You have a small dog, right? I’ve seen you around.” The only thing I could manage to say before you were halfway up the block was, “Wow, this is really sweet of you, you just made my week.”
And I meant it. Your delivery deserves recognition. Way to be self-aware and to give me an easy out had I needed it.
I fumbled your effort by not asking for your name, but I’ll be keeping an eye out for another chance.
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I hope we hear from other recipients of the Cutest Girl in Ballard moniker here.
It’s such a qualified statement, are there lots of cute girls in Ballard these days? Did he mean she’s the cutest girl who is also in Ballard? Way to be Seattle, passive aggressive in your compliments of random parking lot ladies.
Isn’t this just a modified version of that Waitresses song?
Classic Ted Bundy.
“Looking ’round the room, I can tell that you
Are the most beautiful girl in the room
In the whole wide room
And when you’re on the street
Depending on the street
I bet you are definitely in the top three
Good looking girls on the street
Depending on the street“
this pick up technique is covered in my new book, 100 Ways to Score in Seattle.
@2 You’re overthinking it. Not a qualified statement at all. It’s the same as saying “you’re the cutest girl in town”. Ballard is basically a small town.
I’m surprises she didn’t call the cops to report that someone was stalking her. That would be more in line with today’s feminist sensibilities.