A Concert to Remember, the glitz, the glam, and the suits

Please have your tickets ready, but remember: no photo shoots.

 

The announcement did remind, be present, be kind.

The artist has requested offline by design.

But there you were, filming not just for an Instagram story;

The entire setlist was apparently your quarry.

 

Your texting and phone screen, too frantic to ignore,

I worked up the courage to request that this not go on anymore.

 

After twenty minutes of filming, I asked you to stop.

You turned to me, appalled, shocked, and distraught.

 

My request went unanswered, in fact, I had lit a fuse;

To the ushers and attendants, you did put on your ruse.

 

After an hour of notifications, zoom tactics, and texts,

The peaceful music could not calm my vex.

 

At the standing ovation, I decided to match your courtesy decline 

Your back met my shoes when you sat back down to recline.

 

Your twin, or possibly lover, was fuming in your defense.

I’m surprised you didn’t see this coming when you chose violence.

 

I hope you find therapy for your phone addiction and selfishness;

My session this week will be about my pettiness.

Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.

8 replies on “Petty Poet”

  1. “Your back met my shoes when you sat back down to recline. Your twin, or possibly lover, was fuming in your defense. I’m surprised you didn’t see this coming when you chose violence.”

    Wait, you put your feet on a stranger, but you think the stranger is the one who “chose violence?” Ha ha ha, it sounds like “evading responsibility” might make a better topic than “pettiness” for this week’s therapy session! 😂

  2. selfish people

    do what They Wanna

    they don’t GAF what no

    stinkin’ ‘Artist’ may request.

    What’s

    That got to

    Do with them?

    this

    Planet is

    THEIR Oyster

    they’re gonna

    Schwallow it Whole

    mind the Shell!

  5. I’ll never understand why so many people insist on filming bands at shows when you can go on You Tube the next day and find high quality videos of the same show that someone with much better access (and who was most likely hired by the band) took.

  6. “I’ll never understand why so many people insist on filming bands at shows when you can go on You Tube…”

    I’ve always assumed it’s because nowadays it’s more important to brag about an experience on social media than actually experience it.

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