I saw you—male ultrarunner with try-hard tiny shorts and a performance stroller—clip an elderly man who was walking at a reasonable pace on the sidewalk because you couldn’t bear the thought of adding five seconds to your Strava route by going around him.
You yelled “Hey!” in an annoyed tone as you did it, which is not the courtesy you think it is. If you aren’t willing to slow down for an old man, I doubt you’re willing to slow down for your kid, who is at a wobbly and uncoordinated age when they’re not being propelled through the neighborhood at a breakneck pace by your conspicuously exposed quads.
Don’t let your ideal pace get in the way of being a good person.
Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.
Oh yes, totally agree, as well as the runners with their poor panting dogs in tow.
And bicyclists who blast along every trail/pathway leaving walkers and wildlife jumping for their lives. Entitled assholes all!
@1 + 2 : yeah long live cars! Kill the pedestrians and bicyclists! Lets just hit the nail on the head. Theses are the worlds true problems. Oh, and shorts that are too short. Kill them too. Let’s all be nice and try harder to please the first world pedants and prudes.
Stroller moms, especially in walled groups who want people to go around them
@3, right on! let’s pedal / walk our way to all our appointments, games, protests du jour, riots, etc. I doubt you’re going to ride or walk to the local pot shop or trendy vegan cafe unless you live really close. So glad I don’t live in seattle anymore!
and
perhaps
You (and We!)
may meet Mr. 2Tighties
On The Road, and you with your
beemer or ‘vette or cyberpanzer swastikar
and He with his
GTFOMYWAY! FOUR (or SIX!)-
wheel Drive Monster Truck,* so full of
dents its make no longer Knowable, will you then
Smile, Nod put pedal to Metal & GETTHEFUCKOUTTAHISWAY!?
or will you Grumble about
the utter Lack of Civility
These Days?
*baby On BOARD, Bitches!
@5 good thing
cuz Seattle won’t
Allow you Back in.
@3 when you are so heedless of others that you run into people while going down the sidewalk, you are a problem, regardless of the existence of bigger problems.
take the baby off the board & situate it in an appropriate child’s seat, please
It’s well-established (by me) that Seattle has the worst drivers, the dumbest pedestrians, and the most entitled cyclists/scooter drivers/etc.
@9: Not only that, but Seattle has the highest rate of superlatives.
@3 and @5 are satire.
TrumpCare is the BEST care
everybody says so
it’s Free & covers everything
Get yours Now
And you KNOW that some years ahead, sheetmetal shorts man will have a little sore on his foot or a busted ankle and be hobbling along and YES, some kid on a scooter will mow him down. OR his kid will get knocked on their ass by a self-absorbed driver and break an arm. The question is, will this arrogant hole finally be able to reflect on the truth of his vulnerability, on life’s ironies & full circles, and thereby grow and be a more empathic person?
@11 Thank you Phoebe! Seems pretty obvious…
@5 Good idea–and no, I pedal everywhere. In Seattle these days, it’s way faster than a car. And bonus…I’m fit and happy!
@9 I do believe the word ‘entitled’ applies to automobile drivers 90% of the time.