I’ve been longing to visit Ballard’s “new experiment in premium
hamburgers” since Bethany Jean Clement sang its praises in these pages
two weeks ago (and I’m a vegetarian). “These are exceptionally good
burgers… It’s your choice of eight or so different kinds of
organic, ground-on-site meat; 15 different cheeses; 15 different
house-made sauces; and a half-dozen more toppers (maple bacon,
caramelized onions). Milkshakes, no-lumps-style, are apportioned in
400mL lab glassware. Then there are fries, twisty fries,
sweet-potato fries, tater tots….” (Lunchbox Laboratory, 7302 15th
Ave NW, 706-3092. 11 am–8 pm.)

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...