Vagina. That’s what this “Passion Party” is all about. Vagina! Or is it? Everyone in this room is an actress in a recent staging of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. But oddly enough, there’s a lot of dick-talk in this room. We learn about the penis, the chode, and the balls. Apparently, men like pumpkin massage oil—all that spice inspires a proper boner. We also learn that you can buy a floppy plastic tube to masturbate your man with while you watch American Idol. (It’s assumed that we as a group of women want desperately to watch American Idol and will do anything, including jerking our man off, while watching it.)
We get to see what a vagina looks like, at least—a pillow with satin-perfect labia and a diamond clitoris. All vaginas are beautiful! Finally, the dildos come out and we concentrate more on getting ourselves off. American Idol is not mentioned.
Attending this party is enough to make me want to watch the partyers in The Vagina Monologues. There are gay women, heterosexuals, mothers, strippers, married women, and divorced women here. They describe Monologues to me as a play about the torments, the strength, and the brute force of the vagina, and say they had a humbling experience rehearsing the play and discovering what having a vagina means. I wonder if Eve Ensler is giving a handjob and watching Steven Tyler right now. 
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Uh, isn’t a “Passion Party” just Amway with marital aids?
I imagine Passion Parties started with one industrious lady swishing around a boozy drink at a Avon showing and saying “that mascara changed your life? You wanna see what changed my life? It’s my pocket rocket. I named him Chuck. I wish I could sell these to you, you’d love me forever.”
I watched the vagina monologues. With horror. Gotta say after “a piece of my vagina came off in my hand’ I was pretty much done. Things I learned from the vagina monologues: They MUST be hairy, tampons are a product of the PATRIARCHY and any straight sex is degrading in some way while lesbo sex is starmoons and honeypies! I think I’ll take my dick loving smooth en-tamponed pussy elsewhere.