CHRIS JEFFRIES

Let's take things down a notch tonight, shall we (oh yes! We damn well good and shall!), with a visit to Vito's for some of those good old-fashioned post-goomba vibes and the musical talents/ivory ticklings of Mr. Chris Jeffries, one of the ticklingist ivory ticklers ever to tickle an ivory. Beloved by theater nuts and loungey piano-bar aficionados alike, Mr. Jeffries promises to bring "classic songs, originals from the vaults, and guilty pleasures" in this, his new every-first-Thursday event. Vito's, 7 pm, no cover, $21+.

GLITTER, VOMIT, AND PUNK ROCK

Tonight we have a little bit of everything—if we're discussing everything punk nasty, drag queeny, shake your booty-y, and gay. It begins as a dancey DJ event, this cannot be denied. BUT! Then it suddenly morphs into a video-release party, too. THEN! It suddenly turns into a drag fashion show! With real drag! And fashion! Finally, we are bombarded with the super-punk stylings of Nils Forever, his neck tattoo, and his crew. DJ Nark and Lisa Dank are performing, a band called Creem City are debuting their video (never heard of 'em—come on! Live dangerously!), and the drag is by drag-designer JD Halsey. Comet Tavern, 8 pm, $9, 21+.

BEARRACUDA

The bears are back and the fur is flying! It's all about as much body hair and as little clothing as humanly possible, plus beard rubs. If hair covers approximately 90 percent of your body—or you are merely a big fan of same—then you know that this is the biggest bear party on the West Coast, with the very biggest bears. DJ Freddy, King of Pants presiding. (And did I mention beard rubs? Well. BEARD RUBS!) The Eagle, 9 pm, $5 before 10 pm/$7 after, 21+.