Okay, only 95 percent suck. I journaled my very first tour for a big zine. It was terrible. I had three problems that appear to be universal.

Honesty: Can you tell the truth about wanting to punch your drummer, stealing $28 out of the cash box, fucking the promoter's girlfriend when he was out scoring coke?

Insight: Just because you were there doesn't mean you really understand anything beyond the mechanics. Why should I care? What new information are you giving me?

Story: Can you tell a tour story? Some people can; I am not one of them. You don't want to hear about my police helicopters, skinheads, and puppet shows.