THREE IMPORTANT HITS AND ONE HOT MISS

Oh, merciful Gay Jesus. Haven't we just been plagued—be-ridden! Even be-douched, if you will! (And everyone should!)—with multiple-event nights lately? It's a problem. Yes, it's a "modern white girl" problem, I suppose, to be faced with way (way!) too much to do, especially when said "too much" is also very-good-to-pretty-excellent stuff. But! Even the great Gods of Gayness can only dole out so many hours and so much attention (and spare Adderall) of an evening, and so! Fucking decisions to make. (Oh, how I loathe your asses, fucking decisions to make!) Tonight is a big gay glut: Bacon Strip says farewell to May and hello to summer with a "Totally Tubular" '80s revue at the Re-bar's place (10:30 pm, $8 in costume/$10 without, 21+); perennial queerpunk/trannyboy dance-party favorite Lick! slobbers queerpunk/trannyboy love all over Chop Suey (9:30 pm, $5, 21+); the Front Runners' very sexy underwear, um, "fashion show" (or, more truly, "the Parade of Packages") that benefits GLSEN and It Gets Better happens at R Place (9 pm, $5, 21+); and that's just the reservoir tip. But tonight we must focus on a most rare, wicked, and Glee-ful event, indeed: the incomparable Tony-having and Glee-starring-in Idina Menzel live, live, LIVE as part of her fabulous West Coast tour! Because exactly how often does that fucking happen, anyway? I ask you. Paramount, 8 pm, $35–$75, all ages.

DANNY THE STREET, DARK PUNK SCRATCHINGS

You remember Man Plus? Of course you do. (I gushed all over them pretty hard for a while there—you'd damn well better remember.) Well, Man Plus have pretty much dissolved to death, true (sob!). But wait! Its remaining members have morphed into a completely different band called Danny the Street. Completely different how, precisely? Band member Reese Umbaugh explains, "That shit is spooky! While Noddy is more gyrating-in-your-face-in-the-gay-bar, Danny the Street is more punch-you-in-your-gut-in-the-graveyard." Well, whatever you call that, it scratches that certain itch in my soul and makes me go crazy. It will scratch you crazy, too. With Ex-Girlfriends and Sweet Pups! Chop Suey, 8 pm, free, 21+.