Hellomosexuals! Our big geigh weekend begins with a brand-new bang that you ain't done never heard of, because: (a) I ain't done never told you about it yet (patience, 'mos, I beg you!), and (b) it ain't done never happened before. It's called #HashDrag, so you see where this is going. We are told that it will be in the vein of the ancient and much-mourned carnival of subversive, twisted, punk drag freakage that was known to the world as Pho Bang, and those are some pretty big cha-cha pumps to fill. #HashDrag has a mission, according to the show's babymama,Janine Chiorazzi Pierce, and it is to "keep Capitol Hill weird and gender-bent." (A crucial undertaking, you'll agree.) "I have Sioux City Pete, Jackie Hell, EmpeRoar Fabulous, Ade, Gaydolf Hitler, Cherry Sur Bête... I'm also mixing up the lineup a bit to be inclusive of several scenes-within-scenes." Indeed, this inaugural run will feature DJs, dancing, a drag fashion runway, cabaret, burlesque, live performances, and even a little number by the Capitol Hill Synchronized Swim Team! (Yes, I guess such a thing actually exists.) Highline, 9 pm, $10, 21+.



"I believe that you create reality from the inside out, and you do it with words; first the words on the inside of your mind, then with words on the outside." So sayeth the wise and witty and big-blond-wig-blanketed brain of Anita Goodmann (Timothy Thomas), chanteuse, comedienne, and ladydude who describes him/herself as "a real life Tootsie." And, please to note, unlike every other queen you know and love, Tim is a heterosexual. Indeed: STRAIGHT DRAG QUEEN! (Yes, I guess such a thing actually exists.) Anita first appeared as a one-off drag lark in 2006, but the persona took on a life its own, and divorces, job losses, and an identity crisis or two later, she is now a perennial and prolific performer in Seattle drag/cabaret/burlesque/comedy strip(s). This multimedia show is her autobiographical journey into all of that—"what happens when the lines between life and theater, man and woman, and fantasy and reality become blurred." Three nights only! Re-bar, 8 pm, $15 adv/$20 DOS, 21+, Sept 20–22.