I understand. You splooged your big Halloween wad all over the holiday's scary face (oh! The whimsy!), and now you are left sitting there, twiddling your thumbs, staring down a long bleak hallway of November, worrying how the hell you'll even survive. I am fond of calling this particular time of year the Stupid November Dead Zone of Huge Incredible Suckness. Everything sort of winds down, and thoughts turn to reflections upon serious life stuff—a time to regroup, take stock, and examine one's life choices. But since none of us has any intention of doing stupid shit like that, we're going to get blasted, go dancing, and focus on what's really important—getting blasted, going dancing, and Queen Mookie.

Queen Mookie arrived upon our salty shores a mere four years ago, and baby, you noticed. (She describes her unique aesthetic as "an amalgam of Westwood bag lady, techno tribal princess, and lady clown," and, well, yes. Exactly. She's impossible to miss.) She was making noise in New York City back then, but she, like the rest of us, visited Seattle and fell instantly and insanely in love with it. More importantly, she recognized an immediate need for more "glitter and cunt"! (So colorful with the turn of phrase, that Mookie!) She hungered to create an event "where a showgirl can let her hair down and lose her fucking mind," and so! Glitoris was born. The Queen spins underground '80s/'90s dance music and an amuse-bouche of current techno, minimal, and rare gems. It's one of Pony's funnest nights, and it's going to help us plow through this November suckness together. You are encouraged to dress for the occasion. Pony, 9 pm, free, 21+.

SUNDAY 11/10


A few months back, I reported that "the throbbing drag empire" that is Julia's was throwing its tiara into the popular drag brunch ring. Since then, it has dazzled me no fewer than four times with outstanding performances and outrageous costumes. (Oh, the costumes!) The show is fresh each week, with new numbers and performers, but always maintains the general theme of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, so there's plenty of ABBA and ping-pong balls flying around. It's hosted by the wonderfully talented Isaac Scott and Kristie Champagne (I love them both more with every performance—keep your eye on these two), and, frankly, I'm addicted to it. Join me today for my fix. Julia's, 1:30 pm, $10/$20 VIP, all ages.