JEFF ROSS ROASTS AMERICA
Jeff Ross refers to himself as the “Roastmaster General,” having roasted everyone from Carson Daly (“You know you’re white-bread, Carson, right? You shit croutons”) to Dancing with the Stars to Pamela Anderson (“I am not saying her vagina is as big as a cave… I’m saying it’s bigger”), Bob Saget (“Most comics dream of performing in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bob Saget dreams of performing in Hannah Montana“) to Charlie Sheen (“Only time your kids get to see you is in reruns, Charlie. Don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?”). Now, Ross has his sights set on America. From his Twitter account: “Up early doing press for this month’s gigs in Detroit, Portland & Seattle. Fuck you if you don’t come.” Zing! Neptune Theatre, 7:30 pm, $26, all ages.
VITAMIN D IMPROV
Everyone who’s ever been on a blind date knows the fresh hell of improvisation—sitting across from a stranger and discovering that they’re a dog-loving, bipolar mechanic just off a suicide watch, or a compulsive liar. Or worse, you’re one. On a bad night, improvisation “for fun” is slightly less horrifying than that. At its best, it is hilarious—like speed-dating an entire NASCAR team of bipolar mechanics! January is generally a dark, humorless, unlovable month. “Let us spoon-feed you rich, buttery vitamin D goodness in the form of improv,” promise groups Interrobang Improv and Worst Case Scenario. It’s worth a shot. Odd Duck Studio, 10:30 pm, pay what you can, all ages.
GREAT AMERICAN COMEDY FESTIVAL SHOWCASE
The Comedy Underground hosts “one of the most prestigious festivals in the United States” to select talent, where “ten of Seattle’s best comics [TBA] will showcase their material, but only two will be selected to advance.” My hope is for just one of Seattle’s 10 best comics to be a hamster in a bow tie eating its young onstage. Comedy Underground, 8 pm, $10, all ages.
