“I Do Not Hook Up”

by Kelly Clarkson

(J)

Over a month after it leapfrogged from 97 to 1 on the
Billboard charts, I still don’t like Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life
Would Suck Without You”โ€”which is not the same thing as saying I’m
immune to it. Damn thing gets in my head for absolutely no reason at
all; if anything, it’s more dynamic than the song it rips off, “Since U
Been Gone.” But I don’t enjoy having “Suck” there, and I don’t care for
her new album, either. But “I Do Not Hook Up,” the hardest-rocking
teenage-abstinence anthem in historyโ€”this I love. “Baby, put the
bottle down” is the offhanded, and hence alarming, first line; the
title phrase says it, means it, stamps it, sends it, and she caps it
when she hollers, “I go slow!” Not on this song she doesn’t. The
“ah-oh, ah-oh” on the chorus induces flashing images of pom-pom girls
wearing chastity belts. Absolute kicker and/or evidence that the world
is turning upside down: The song’s writer is none other than one of my
least favorite pop personages, Katy Perry.

“T.I.A.” and “Kicked Pushed”

by K’naan

(A&M/Octone and mixtape)

I like this guy a lot, which isn’t to say I always feel the same way
about his music: I find Troubadour spottier than I’d prefer,
though parts of it are fantastic. It gets no better than its lead
track, “T.I.A.,” which stands for “This Is Africa,” something its
booming drum track evokes precisely, even though the central sample is
from “Simmer Down,” Bob Marley’s first hit with the Wailers, and the
track itself sounds like it could have come from any number of
(American) producers’ labs.

Before Troubadour‘s release, K’naan commissioned K-Salaam
& Beatnick to put together a promo mixtape, You Can’t Buy
This
, which I found on the freebie windowsill at the Capitol Hill
Sonic Boom some weeks ago. The easy highlight is “Kicked Pushed,” which
utilizes the music from the Lupe Fiasco hit you think it does, and
recounts an attack on K’naan and a companion by racist skinheads
following a concert in Gรถteborg, Sweden: “When the cops showed up,
I felt a little at ease/Although to be honest, I don’t trust the police
(yep)/But I thought this was Sweden/Progressive liberal
vegans/Religiously tolerant, even/Plus the evidence is breathing/A
black man on the ground, bleeding/What else could they be needing to
take these criminals to the precinct?” There is, of course, a lot
more. recommended