This ain’t a dis column, this a real column! I’m saying,
Beanie Sigel dissing Jay-Z (if you ain’t know, go hit the
YouTube for “What You Talkin Bout,” so you know what the hell
I’m talking about) makes that forever undying rap fan in
me—that frozen-in-time Roc-A-Fella stan
within—deeply, deeply sad. Sadder than when Jay and Dame split, sadder than when I heard Coldplay‘s Chris Martin on “Beach Chair,” sadder than Christión, Teairra
Mari, Rell, and Rick Vocals all put together.
(Shudder.) How in the name of Amil did we get here? I would
blame those two things we never seem to have enough of—time and
(especially) money. Time in the pokey, time apart. Money made, money
needed—not to mention a certain rapper/actor/CEO, whose name was
coined for change, who seems to be manipulating the
situation. I love a good rap beef as much as any—and the caliber
of the two involved ought to qualify this one as great—but
this shit is just sad. I’d hope that somehow, some way Beans and
Hov would rock again, but instead it looks like once again it’s
on.
Oh well. Fuck all that, because townbidness is still
and truly in full effect. Big, stupid, obese-shut-in props to the big
homies J. Moore, Jake One, and Vitamin D on the
2009 edition of the Red Bull Big Tune competition, recently
concluded. On its Afu-Ra-style whirlwind-through-cities (eight,
to be exact) tour, RBBT had its finals in the ATL. There, Detroit’s
runner-up, Toronto native Frank Dukes, beat out 15 other
battle-tested producers (including Seattle’s champ Marcus D and
runner-up KD Cutz). I’m most curious who Dukes gets to work with
for his prize, because as y’all will recall in 2008, Chi-town’s
C-Sick got
to do a joint with Nas; in 2007, Dyme
Def‘s own Brainstorm did one with Young Buck. This
year it’s gotta be even bigger, dare I say—Bangs? (That’s
a joke, slowskis.)
Okay, but speaking of producers, Blockhead—longtime
Aesop Rock collaborator and Ninja Tune soldier—is coming
to Chop Suey November 12 to beat up on yo pads, beat fanatics. DJ
Signify, Dead Noise and WD4D (who came together to
put out the After School EP recently with Fourthcity),
and DJ Absolute Madman are on the bill as well. The next night
at Chop Suey, however, is all about the goddamn rapping: a Super Fly
T.N.T. bill topped off by destined-for-glory Sportn’ Lifer Fatal Lucciauno, Portland’s own behind-the-mic/behind-the-scenes
hero Cool Nutz, and Seattle’s king of the artistic multigrind,
Onry Ozzborn. SK, Outrageous, and
FileJerks‘ own DJ Astronomar fill out the night with
flavor, with Candidt hosting. If you miss this one, it’s
probably because you’re the kind of person who saves all your energy to
go see Brokencyde—whose music is actually proven to
cause cancer of the ears, eyes, and genitals—at El
Corazón November 15. Even the juggalos in the immediate area
wonder: The fuck is wrong with you? 