Here’s that cultural history you ordered. The Stranger

My laptop was sorely trippin' the day Rihanna's excellent ANTI came out, the day that Kanye gave an itemized list of reckless statements to Wiz Khalifa (a highlight being "I own your child") that resulted in him (Kanye) being savagely kink-shamed by his ex. Also the day that Kells, never helping, recounted the time he tried to marry his mama.

Pop culture pop-offs, high political theater barely drowning out the real powers' rampant insidiousness—all that, and my music not loading onto my fucking iPad, no matter what I did. Mercury was surely in some manner of agitation, a bad hair day, shit leaning to the left, or something.

And still I rise! Just to witness another round of Drake vs. Meek Mill pettiness. Which is fine, but far more exciting is Denzel Curry's spirited manhandling of old pal SpaceGhostPurrp on the Sango-laced "Purrposley." Curry had one of 2015's hardest albums and seems, by the looks of new single "Ult," to be turnin' up the fish grease in '16. In other ex–Raider Klan news, Seattle's Key Nyata is back on the dolo grind after splitting with Thraxxhouse. New music produced by ATL mainstay TM88 slots the Cosmic Dad right into the trap.

I guess I have to weigh in on Kyle Fleck's "The Rise of Seattle Hiphop" article from the last issue. It's incomplete by admission, but it maybe should've admitted it a little louder—as its omissions seem to do the most talking. No Vitamin D, no Tribal, no deal. Kyle reached out to me to pick my brain for the story, and my poor time management kept me from linking up. If I had managed to, I would've just told dude to not do it.

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Much like being involved with Seattle hiphop itself, attempting to sum up the scene's history is an exercise in frustration for all involved, and you can probably guess how I feel about exercise. The only person I've seen pull it off without shitting the bed (the nightstand, the carpet, etc.) would be the homie Dr. Daudi Abe (whose fairly exhaustive timeline is a part of MOHAI's The Legacy of Seattle Hip-Hop project, and who is working on a book on the subject)—and there was also that one time that OGs Jake One and Mike Clark talked to the Cocaine Blunts blog a few years ago. None of the rest are really worth the Wordpress they're published on, IMNSHO.

Anyway, I wonder now, what's the point? Who are we preserving this history for? None of these fuckboy haircuts walking around seem to care about what came before, unless it's Dragon Ball Z, Dunkaroos, or DeGrassi: The Next Generation. Like, maybe you'll get to be a footnote in the bibliography of some out-of-print town history that you'll be lucky to have an Amazon drone airdrop you a copy of, because the zone you live in doesn't get internet, trash pickup, or clean water anymore. Now get back to your desk. Work work work work work. recommended