THE TOTALLY ’90S SING-ALONG
Tonight we, the marauding homo hordes, invade the strange landscapes of good old Central Cinema (my favorite!) to partake of this, the most exciting of their celebrated themed events—the Totally ’90s Sing-Along! Now, the ’90s were a long time ago, and you probably don’t remember much because DRUGS (not that I’m judging), so allow me to refresh: It was that magical decade squished between the Bush Years and the Much, Much Worse Bush Years and was filled with a rare and mysterious thing called “money,” gayer than Oberon at drunken drama camp, pretty serious about its ever-so-grungy music, and better than the nows by thousands of miles, thanks a fuckin’ load, Bush Years. Let us revel once more in this magical time! With voices raised high! With Björk songs and flannel! With Nirvana and John Fluevog! And, of course, little meat loaves, which are the meatiest things you’ve put in your mouth since those HUNDREDS OF PENISES. (Yes, I’m projecting.) Central Cinema, 8 pm,
$8 adv/$10 DOS, all ages.
BLACK SWAN
Gather round, gaydies and gentlemos: Once upon a time, there was a scary Russian fairy tale that became a scary Russian ballet that turned, through hellish powers unknown (Fox Searchlight Pictures), into one of the most overhyped and impenetrable cinematic peculiarities Mila Kunis has done to date. Tonight, Ian Bell and his big Brown Derby take that Kunis-y vehicle, rip it to shreds, and toss it in the air like some sick, wonderful, drag-queen-rich confetti. Ben DeLaCreme stars as the dancey Natalie Portman character, Andrew Tasakos does dancey Barbara Hershey, Scott Shoemaker gets dancey Mila, and I have to stop telling you about it now because I just creamed my dancey jeans. Ben DeLaCremed—Black Swan style! Re-bar, 8 pm, $18, 21+.
LUCKY LISP: MORRISSEY’S UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY
While one hardly needs any extra encouragement to end up at Pony, it is very worth noting that tonight is the birthday of Morrissey, who is God, and the Pony folk (aka Dee Jay Jack) worship him fabulously, as is his due. The second annual! Pony, 9 pm, free, 21+.
