NIGHT MOVES, THE BELATED LAUNCH
As the sweet, sad death of May draws near, the inevitable pridey-prideness of “June” (or “Pride Month,” as it’s widely known amongst we ‘mos) marches ever closer… closer… WAY TOO EFFING CLOSE! Like bum breath on a Metro bus. Like sweet insanity. Like the smothering kisses of an erstwhile lover way too early in the morning when you just want to brush your damn teeth and crawl to work because you’ve used up all your sick days already because HANGOVERS. PRIDE! I’M JUST NOT READY! I need to get three more haircuts, to lose six more pounds (okay-seven-okay-nine-shut-up), and to polish every Fluevog in my most massively Imelda-ish collection before I’ll be anywhere near properly Pride-prepped. You feel similarly, of course. So it seems almost cruel to get all twitter-pated at this anxious juncture, fraught as it is with pending fabulousness and aesthetic angst, but TOO DAMN BAD IS WHAT. That’s just our big, fabulous cross to bear. So listen: There’s a new thing. It was supposed to launch weeks ago, but LIFE HAPPENED. (An electric word, “life,” that means “forever,” and that’s a mighty long time.) What it boils down to is a brave aural expedition through the wilds between “disco” and so-called “boogie” that intends to make you: (a) worship it, (b) dance. And it will, as it’s the birthchild of the delicious brainwombs of Trouble Dicso’s DICSO (who may or may not be the cofounder of Dan Savage) and DJ FITS (which is the dirtiest acronym ever to fuck in a street), and they’ve made you dance before. They’ve made EVERYONE dance. Let’s face it. Barboza, 10:30 pm–3 am, free before 11 pm/$5 at 11 pm/$8 at 1 am, 21+.
BOTTOM 40 GETS NUTS
This Nark baby is twoish months old, and sources almost too gay report that it has already reached a fevered pitch that might make you piss your panty hose right the hell off, forcing you to buy a whole new pair of panty hose, unless, of course, you’re into pissy, blow-off panty hose or something (no one’s judging!). So sayeth Nark: “For the first time ever, there was live music. It was an explosion of colors and dancing; I’ve never seen people having a better time… just flawless!” And to think! I can recall a time when the Cuff was all hairy daddies and cheap beer. Like last Tuesday. How does Nark do it? The Cuff, 6 pm, free before 8 pm/$5 after, 21+.
