"Apes, too, have organs that can grasp, but they do not have hands. The hand is infinitely different from all grasping organs: paws, claws, or fangs differ by an abyss of essence. Only a being who can speak, that is, think, can have hands and can be handy in achieving works of handicraft."

--Martin Heidegger

Holding, Pulling, Ejaculating/International District/Thurs May 10/4:50 pm: When a 22-year-old woman became irritated by the once again late 7 and 9 busses on Jackson Street, she asked a man standing next to her in the bus shelter if he had the time. She then looked down at his right wrist to see if he had a watch, and at that moment noticed that the man was holding an erect penis. The man said, "No, sorry, I don't have the time." The alarmed young woman left the bus shelter and sat next to an elderly lady on a nearby bench. A minute later, the masturbating man walked up to where the old and young women were sitting and ejaculated on the cement. Relieved, the man wandered into the bushes behind the bench, heading in a northwesterly direction toward Yesler Way. When Officer Aaron Stoltz arrived to investigate the sex crime, the young woman pointed out the suspect's semen stains, which were still visible on the cement. Officer Aaron Stoltz then performed an area search, but failed to locate the timeless man.

Holding Wrists and Arresting/Taylor Ave/ Sat May 19/3:14 am: Officer K. Zieger writes: "I got out of my patrol car and walked toward the house. I could hear loud karaoke music from the street. I knocked several times, but no one answered. The music was so loud. I kicked the door with the tip of my boot to make a louder noise [than the racket inside the house]. The door popped open. I did not enter, but yelled. The music went down and up again. A male came to the door, and I asked if he was the resident. He said he was not the resident. I asked to see his ID. He said no, because he was not the resident. His eyes were bloodshot. I requested his ID again. He said no. I placed my hand on his wrist and told him he was under arrest. His arm became very stiff and I could not put his hand behind his back. Officer Choi assisted me, struggling with the suspect's arm and hands. I finally placed a handcuff on the suspect's wrists and told him he was under arrest. [Later] in the precinct holding cell, the suspect began to complain about the flexi cuffs being too tight. I checked the cuffs and was able to place a finger between the cuffs and his [fleshy] hands. I noticed the suspect was trying to bring his hands to the front of his body. I told him to keep his hands behind his back and that should stop the discomfort and [all of the trouble his hands had caused]."

Holding, Raising, Tempting/E Marginal Way South/Sat May 19/10:41 pm: A visibly distressed husband and wife flagged down Officer Carlson and told him that a woman wearing a brown leather jacket and black high-heel shoes was lifting up her skirt at passing cars on Marginal Way. The couple also explained that the woman was not wearing any underwear and so was offering everyone a glimpse of her equipment. Officer Carlson drove down to where the suspect was said to be standing, and sure enough found her on the sidewalk flashing at passing cars. Officer Carlson parked his vehicle, approached her, and asked if she was wearing any underwear. The woman stated that she had not worn any underwear since she was three years old. She then stated that if anyone saw anything, it was because she bent over to pick up something from the street. After checking the woman's identity on the cop network, Officer Carlson arrested her for indecent exposure.