Seven Weeks: That's how long it took to discover that a woman had died, of natural causes, in her YWCA room.

The Santa Claus Burglar: A man gets stuck in a Seward Park home's chimney for three hours; he intended to burglarize the home.

Poisoned Meatballs: Three dogs in Spokane are dead after eating them.

Coup d'état in Niger: (Former) President Mamadou Tandja was arrested on Thursday; and a military junta now has ruling authority over the country.

Bacillus Anthracis: The FBI finally concludes their investigation into the anthrax letter attacks from 2001.

The Dutch Government: It collapsed after failing to reach an agreement on their military's presence in Afghanistan.

Meanwhile in Ukraine: Prime Minister Yulia V. Tymoshenko has dropped her legal challenge to the presidential election, thus clearing the way for the opposition leader, Viktor F. Yanukovich, to be inaugurated Thursday.

Not Even a Slap On the Wrist: Bush Administration lawyers, John Yoo and Jay Bybee, the two men who justified a policy of torture, will not face disciplinary action of any kind.

Alexander Haig: Former Secretary of State under Reagan dead at 85.

But Can You Smoke in Them? A new federal law will allow one to carry a firearm into National Parks (so long as it does not conflict with state law).

Not Just Ourselves, But Our Trees, Too! Scientists have gauged climate change on trees' trunks getting fatter.

This is making its rounds on teh internets (NSFW):