We wanted to tell you that this hot mess made for an easy, no-doubt-in-our-minds endorsement pick. But we’ll be honest—it was a tough call.

The incumbent in this fight over who will become the next (take a deep breath) Representative to the King County Democratic Central Committee for the 43rd District Democrats... this incumbent is none other than Will Affleck-Asch, AKA Will in Seattle. He whose “memes” dictate the terms of policy debates (his favorite power meme: “billionaire’s tunnel,” “billionaire’s tunnel,” “billionaire’s tunnel”). The guy who publishes in New Zealand, knows the curation history of every major French museum, and believes in building 100-story residential towers near outlying transit stations. The guy who can't tell the difference between boxers and briefs but whose tweets are closely monitored by the Obama administration.

His challenger is Michael Maddux, AKA michaelp. Sadly, Maddux's politics are about as charming as Will's unsolicited panty flash. His pants pop for the deep-bore tunnel and he cheered for the Joe “Savant” Mallahan campaign. Reportedly, his transgendered friends adore him—but then, they have psychological problems of their own to battle (see video at 7:28).

Maddux is pompous and wrong about everything; Affleck-Asch is pompous and wants to nuke Saudi Arabia. Thus, the SECB has no choice but to endorse Will in Seattle's stunted turtleneck as the next Representative to the King County Democratic Central Committee for the 43rd District Democrats. Frankly, it was the least offensive thing in the room.