This Is Still the Best Thing Ever
It's been a few weeks now, but ICYMI, two guys who were trafficking 20 pounds of weed from Las Vegas to Montana apparently got really high, got really paranoid, and called the cops on themselves.
According to East Idaho News, they over-toked, dreamed up a sophisticated undercover police operation far beyond what you would expect from a rural Idaho police department, and pulled over in the town of Rexburg to turn themselves in. They told the operator, "All your cops are just driving around us like a bunch of jack wagons, and I'd just like you guys to end it." Rexburg police captain Randy Lewis told the East Idaho News that the duo of dumbasses was not, in fact, being followed by any of his officers.
The entire 911 call is a superb blend of schadenfreude, comedy, and face-palm that you should go listen to online ASAP, but the following exchange is particularly glorious:
911 operator: Do you guys have any guns or weapons or anything on you at all?
Caller: Nope, we don't have any of that stuff with us. Just a bunch of snacks and stuff.
Not true. They also had a pit bull.
Oregon Town to Open Drive-Through Dispensary
A dispensary in Gold Beach, Oregon, recently announced plans to offer drive-through service for both recreational and medical weed. The dispensary is located across from a hospital, so one can see the benefit for disabled patients in need of some CBD oil, but goddamn if we weren't finally starting to shake the lazy stoner stereotype! Say what you will about illegal delivery services, but at least with those, someone is burning calories to get you your pot.
Lawsuit Seeks to Halt Washington State's Licensing Process for Medical-Marijuana-to-Recreational-Marijuana Conversions
The suit, brought by local medical marijuana activists John Davis, Ken Adams, and Philip Dawdy, was prompted by the WSLCB's December decision to limit the number of retail licenses offered in the latest round of licensing to 21, after months of assuring applicants that there would be no cap and there was no rush to apply.
"They told everyone that it was not a race, and it absolutely is," said Davis, complaining that applicants were given no notice of the cap.
The suit also alleges that the WSLCB gave undue preference to "Franken-applicants"ânewly formed business entities that qualified for top priority license slots by including former employees of medical marijuana dispensaries, who were not necessarily actual operators of marijuana businesses. Indeed, a few short months ago, the local Craigslist was littered with posts offering enormous sums to current or former medical marijuana employees who qualified for the all-important Priority I status and were willing to act as partners.
"You could have worked one day in a collective garden in 2012. You could say that and get Priority 1, and once you had the Priority 1, you were in," said Davis, arguing that the WSLCB's process wasn't nuanced enough to distinguish experienced operators from wealthy opportunists.
"I saw Uncle Ike's on the list," said Davis. "Are you telling me that Uncle Ike's was a dispensary prior to 2013? It's patently ridiculous."
Legal Weed Sales Up to $6.7 Billion in 2016
A new report from ArcView Market Research, a nationwide analytics company tracking the cannabis industry, confirms what everyone with any interest in pot already knew: Pot business is big business. While the rapid growth of the pot industry is relatively unsurprising, the report does show a dramatic change in the type of use: More people are smoking pot just for the fuck of it. Good for you, potheads!
According to ArcView's data, in 2014, pot smokers bought $4.57 billion worth of pot, but only $351 million of those sales were to recreational users. In 2015, consumers bought $5.4 billion worth of pot, and $998 million of recreational pot, a 184 percent increase. By 2020, recreational consumers are predicted to make up more than half of a $21.8 billion cannabis market.
To paraphrase Kent Brockman: I, for one, welcome our new cannabusiness overlords.
Speaking of Cannabusiness Overlords
Zoots Premium Cannabis Infusions, which makes edibles and is owned by Db3, Washington State's largest processing operation, just announced plans to expand to Colorado. Kyle Mallory, a spokesperson for Db3, confirmed the deal. According to Mallory, the ownersâDan, Michael, and Patrick Devlinâare working with Bronnor Corp., a processor out there, in hopes of becoming Washington's first venture into Colorado. Though Zoots is prevented from directly running their own processing operation out of state, it is 100 percent legal for them to license their brand name.
